The Cycle

Whre do I start?
What words should best fit at the opening of a poem I've been trying to write for months?
I search for beatiful, poetic sequence that flow like rivers,
I cannot find them,
What I feel and have always felt for you is beyond words,
I've tried desperately for 11 years to put into to words what my heart feels,
What my head says and what I wish I could tell you,
The words...
Just aren't there.
They sound so cliche',
Like yada yada yada ya,
Same shit, different poet, another fucking day,
The simple truth is this...
I miss you,
Closing my eyes for just a moment lets the sound of your laughter fill me,
The smell of your cologne
Fresh from the shower,
After a hard days work,
Even after we've laid with each other,
With emotions, sweat, and unyeilded passion,
I smell them all, each delicately different.
We've spent over half our lives talking, laughing, loving, fighting,
Traveling, moving, growing, and finding,
Finding each other in a world that seems hell bent on tearing us apart.
I breathe a long, warm breath,
The tears sit just behind my eyes,
I am not hurting, just loving you,
Like I always have as if not a moment has gone by,
That you and me wasn't we,
There have been many of those,
But be honest... how do those end?
With us lying in each others arms, telling the other how much they were missed,
How amazing it feels for me to touch your face,
For you to hold me and say "trust me,"
Such a strong and comforting embrace,
One simple moment tonight began all of this,
I haven't missed you in months,
But with a simple fucking friend request,
Thus it began,
I searched his pictures looking for your face,
My desire to see you, to touch you, to know that you're okay,
Overpowered any fear,
Of Dottie don't do this,
Please not again....