I've chains on our doors with my family under guard
From all sorts of deviants and others left in charge
A Mormon on every knock, an obscenity on every call
Thank Christ for the neighbours; they don't bother us at all
They don't ask for sugar
They don't misbehave
They’re so fucking fascinating
They just nod and wave
My brain is turning sponge like I'm only alarm to a shrill
Maniacal calls for blood for arseholes who maim and kill
My neighbour suddenly spurts, "Those pricks should be strung up by their balls!"
Apart from that short circuit, neighbours don't bother us at all
They don't throw orgies
They don't rob graves
They don't moon the dog
They just nod and wave
I wash our cars on Sunday and race the mower around the lawn
Its days like that you've got to be happy that you're born
A man’s home’s his castle, front fence an electrified wall
Just like my electrifying neighbours who don't bother us at all
Don't dance under sprinklers
They don't come and stay
Don't cartwheel in the nude
They just nod and wave
I can sit for hours on the porch playing “I spy” yet again
“I spy with my little eye, ummmmm, something beginning with ‘N’
There was a highlight once, I had to throw a kid back his ball
Apart from that excitement they don't bother me at all
They don't shout obscenities
They don't act depraved
Don't piss up the back fence
They just nod and wave
Author notes
Written April 15th, 2004
A contest entry
- Sarcasm by Edna Sweetlove.
850 points, ended July 6, 2007, 19 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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if you could keep this on the sarcasm contest, I'd like to read it again when I've got more time
and I can't find the bookmark thingy
for now, Bravo!
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In my part of the world we string these mothers up by their nuts. We have a slogan: "The only good Mormon is a dead Mormon."
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They don't write 'em like this any more.
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this is absolutely delightful!
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Wow! Fantastic! This is sooooo well written! one problem- you didn't ask if you could submit this as a prewrite entry. Remove this from my contest, ask me if you can enter it. Believe me- it'll be worth it. hint, hint.
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this was in a way funny and in a way a real tribute to society! good job and thank you for entering..good luck in the contest!
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haha, this was some what funny. Its like the neighbors curse at you under their breath but dont say anything to you. Just like my neighbors, heh. Nice poem.
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this is really great writing with a bit of fun mixed in with it too, I enjoyed reading this because everyone who lives near us` would drive you crazy ?... we get loud music til 3 in the morning and kids racing cars up and down the streets all day long... not to mention the local fire department having to deal with bin fires at 1-30 a.m most days and the burnt out stolen cars too. all this happens before the local thugs start fighting each other ?. your poem sounds like heaven compared to that .. lol. great poetry and a real pleasure to read.
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this is a really cool poem made me laugh and appealed to my sense of humour i hope to see more poems like this as you are really good, i think you definatly have to go to my favourites
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wonderfully written and aw-inspiring!!!
very funny....and very good.....you are truely a wonderfull poet...im sure you've heard that loads....but really i shall add you to my list....i love your poems.....quite unique and very good.......inspiring......great write.....keep it up....heather -
This is very cool, and v.funny. I like it a lot. And hell, they sound better than my neighbours who invite themselves in for tea and borrowed our lawn mower 3 years ago and have yet to return it!
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hi D P Robertson - dave
did you mean 'bother' in line four?
looks like an over sight.
also was it 'maim' as oppossed to 'main' unless you are referring to 'mainlining'? I can see it could be either.
the firs two lines on stanzas tow and three weren't my favourite things here.
I think the alpha and omega were.
Nice one.
(nods quietly and passes on by) -
Well done, would you please give me your neighbours phone number, i would like him to move in next to me!
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This is a marvelous read and a true delight! I had such a good time reading this and sharing your sighs....Well-done!
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I really like!!!!!!
although one little question second stanza first paragraph second line in :
Maniacal calls for blood for those people who main and kill
: who main should that be Maim? just checking. an all. Hugs and luck in the contest hope you win. Cause you know you are the smartest writer here anyway. Well besides me of course.
Cheers and Hugs
-Jacquie * goes off in search of her wombat*
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deleciously funny
well of course, thi is great anad easily identifiable..what a fun tribute to "our neighbors" ..now I will be waiting for one to talk of the "neighbors who drive us bokers" I applaud your lovely little ryhmical piece..great job here, my friend...shasta -
I donno, read an article about sidewalks recently ..how they are important..that's the only time we can 'nod and wave' ..or perhaps smile at a stranger and start a conversation. Too many people rushing by in SUV's ..with cell phones attached at the ear ..who never bother to even nod and wave ...not even that, not anymore.
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OH David, you crack me up with something like this
marvellous my friend as your work always is. I am still giggling.
Love you my sweet~Joan
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oh, i hate that! I hate it that nobody knows their neighbors anymore. It seems very sad to me, and such a loss. I loved the "mooning the dog" line... who moons a dog??
--Glass
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I liked it, and don't have it in me to comment.
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