Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Only There

For where life is taken,
I've watched you be consumed by the darkness inside.
Watching as you changed from the person I once knew,
To who you are now.

Your someone I don't know,
The darkness within played that role.
Yet, you don't don't fight this darkness.
I watched you die from the inside out.

The person I once knew is no longer there.
This thing has consumed you.
This thing called darkness, it took you from me, and
You don't fight it, you use to be a fighter.

Depression took you under its wing, and
Now it won't let you go.
This darkness within consumed your soul, and
I don't know how to win you back.

I see a soulless body.
One with eyes covered over in darkness.
Left as an empty shell.
It's consumed you whole.

Darkness has took my friend.
Someone that I once knew.
Now she's a empty soul.
Yet I still look for her, to fight the darkness that consumed her.

Though I know she isn't fighting.
She rather be dead, so this person to us.
Has became dead to the world.
Once filled with spirit, is now only there.

A contest entry

What do you think?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • mgmc gold member
    November 10

    Edit | Reply
    A very touching poem that clearly illustrates the concept of consume. It's well structured and the sentiments are very clearly and strongly expressed. Its a very good write. It could be made even better - one suggestion try to use synonyms instead of the same word repeatedly (for example blackness in place of darkness, etc). Thanks for this strong entry and best of luck!


  • Warrior of Peace
    November 10

    Edit | Reply

    woaq

    She's never truely gone keep being the light. Sometimes all a friend needs is prayer to The light HImself to bring her/him out of the darkness back into the light. Depression is a heavy darkness never give up on you friend. That when the darkness will truely win. It's very good poem


  • marandah gold member
    November 10

    Edit | Reply

    Good job poet!

    Well written!

    A great take on cunsumption; and how depression can consume the light of our God-given energy.

    I really liked the line; I watched you die from the inside out