I plucked a flower from your field, as laughter fell like
Silver rain upon my fevered brow I wonder how I could
Have ever left your lips, how I could have ever left the
Shelter of your arms, but still I wonder if you would
Leave that flower in my care, a blooming rose born
From your heart, it frees me from my wicked past,
A history that could never last, a question of what's left
For me to win, just these random thoughts of forgotten sin,
You are the rose that I've been looking for, a beauty
From the depths of my needy mind, a vision meant
Just for my kiss, if I could stay here for all of time,
I'd call you angel for as long as I have breath and write
You sonnets from our bed.
A contest entry
- Your Love Story . . . kinda by RatherImaginative.
700 points, ended November 22, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Your words are lovely and your imagery vivid, but I can't help but wonder if some working of the line breaks could help the impact and communication of the poem. As it is, the lines break often in awkward spots that don't allow for a smooth reading of the poem. Otherwise, the sentiments are beautifully presented -- the one for whom this is written is blessed indeed.
Thanks for entering my contest!
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I'm in love with it.
So beauitufl and soft... truthful, and wistful. I cannot think of any other way of describing it... except that it's amazing.
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