Lauretta,
your glorious tale.
Your bright eyes, blinded the ordinary,
and summoned wisdom for the wise;
divine face dawned peace upon the troubled,
magnetic presence painted picture pristine.
Your splendid deeds became fables,
each father hoping his daughter’s to be alike;
people promised by your worthy name,
you set an instance of stately manners.
Despite your virtues, you were only human,
your passion attracted many courtiers;
and finally you gave in, to be the Queen of hearts,
but the King was brought up in Casanova ways.
Why all the beautiful things have to end?
The way you diminished into appalling oblivion;
a life full of luminous accomplishments,
and an end so severe, laced with pathos.
Lauretta,
I can only shed tears.
Author notes
Prompt: painting: A Tale from The Decameron by John William Waterhouse
'Yesterday' by Beatles.
A contest entry
- Ever Feel like something's your fault? Take a look in at this contest. by Englandgirl2008.
1482 points, ended November 25, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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Thanks.
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Feeling/7
Imagery/7
Pre-write/5
Style/5
Format/5
Comments/5
Point: 34
This was a good poem. I didn't feel a lot of emtion and really didn't see a lot of imagery.
Thanks for entering and good luck. -
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Thanks for your comments.
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Why "do" all the beautiful things have to end. The ending is sort of a surprise because I am not given any reason to suspect it has all come to a bad end other than the the hint about the King being a cassanova.
Going back to the second stanza, I am unsure of what is meant by "divine face dawned peace upon the troubled,
magnetic presence painted picture pristine."
and in the third stanza I wondered why each father would hope for his daughter's (tale) to be like (hers)? What splendid deeds were they? I know from her name that she is laurel wreathed and wise but how?
I like how you begin and end the piece but I just was left feeling like I needed more information. There does seem to be a lot of passion and potential in the subject matter at hand and in your writing. Thank you.
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Firstly, a Big Thanks for your detailed review. Your comments much appreciated.
The ending was meant to be a twist, so it has served the purpose.
Her deeds are actually shown in second and third stanzas, though not specific I admit
, may be because of late night laziness. For such virtues only the fathers would like their daughters to be alike.
I will certainly like to rework on this piece.
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