Bed Bugs

They tell us there are bed bugs
In my nice warm bed
Not just one or two
But millions they've said

How do they get in their
Out of my nose, my eyes, my ears
How long did I carry them?
An hour, a week, some years

I've not seen them with my naked eye
No doubt they've nibbled on my naked thigh
Is that where the hair goes off my head
For them to make a little bed

I wonder if they have them in igloos
In little furry coats
I wonder if they have them on cruises
In little follicle boats

Are they just like little snails?
Living on broken bits of nails
Using spare bits of skin like sails
As I snore on them and blow their tails

I wonder if they like athlete's foot
The big fat boil that's on my butt
Corns and bunions on which to play
As they lie in wait till the end of the day

Will mum's night creams keep them off?
As on her exfoliations they scoff
Will dad's bad breath keep them at bay?
Or does halitosis not hold sway

As they nibble on their feast
Gorging on our sweat and yeast
Imagine how their house is built
Inside the greenhouse that is our quilt

Bed bugs in my bed with me
Microscopic too small to see
Lots of bits for them to chew
Don't forget they're in with you too!!