afraid

you were right, i am scared, terrified really
i told you i love you
and you said you love me
i cant understand why or how
but it's in your eyes and in your heart
you help me, you guide me
you correct me when i'm wrong
for these things and more
to you i am so very greatful
you do so much for me
and its impossible it seems
for me to do anything for you
every time i try it always goes amiss
or taken the wrong way
and thrown into the abyss
i'm frightned you see
because of this
afraid that you'll leave me
for i feel so useless
i've been left so many times
i've been hurt so many times more
i have been broken
broken and torn
built up and happy
then ripped to the core
i'm afraid that i love you
love you too much
i depend on you so
for you've become my crutch
every time
i get this close
something happens
and i lose it all
ones i love
have left me here
left me here
to break and fall
i love you so
so very much
you've loved me back
you've built me up
and made me stronger
at least moreso than i was
you've trained me and taught me
like i was your own
it feels right with you
like for once i belong
but most importantly
you've led me to christ
you led me, He saved me
forever to you i am greatful
greatful for your teaching,
for your patience and love
for leading me to the grace
of our father above
you've done that for me
and now if you leave
my world will crumble
afraid to love
ever again
afraid to be left once again
afraid to open up
to anyone at all
afraid to be hurt
once and for all
to be completely
hurt and shattered
for all eternity
so you were right
but of course you were
i am afraid....
now can you see?