The god's have separated us
like night and day
and fire and ice
But we shall cheat them
in those precious moments we find
between day rise and sun down
I will find you
in a perfect balance
A harmony where we shall blend
and create life
harmonizing as the warmth melts the ice
and produces
life affirming water
Hold me
and we shall rise above misunderstanding
I am the night
and you are the sun
I will surround you
engulfing you in my twilight
sheltering you as you stretch out
and protect me
from all below who would harm me
Combine with me
in wicked chaos
Forget the order of things
For we are mighty
In our love
Like an inferno
trapped in ice
You shall break free from within me
And command me to blend into you
The start of creation
Rebirth
Love's phoenix
Born out of passion
formed into an everlasting elixir
Drink from my love
and be ever
satisfied
A contest entry
- Your Love Story . . . kinda by RatherImaginative.
700 points, ended November 22, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Calling Dragon Lovers.... by Riftkin.
700 points, ended November 24, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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You had me until the lines 'you shall break free from within me/and command me to blend into you'. Seems to me this was already going on in the poem and moving from it already, so its unneccesary. Other than that the movement is dancelike, two lovers across the room first joining eyes then moving closer, closer...til boom there it is, writhing in each others arms, creating bonding. Very nice.
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Wonderful take on the prompt. Best of luck to you with this.
Riftkin
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One minor typo in the first line: "god's" should have no apostrophe.
It's a fascinating contrast you make in describing the frozen inferno. The vibe I get is that the other person feels the passion, and yet is still fighting tooth and nail against for fear of . . . whatever. The speaker is clearly attempting to assure the other their love will only bring them each life, which is as it should be. I enjoyed your imagery in the piece.
Thanks so much for entering my contest!
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Beautifully done, like a magic spell! Love the story and the telling, the mixture of forbidden love, and the surpassing of all boundaries. Wonderful read!
Lita
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Holy F
Okay, this was so awesome that I couldn't type after reading it.
I loved "For we are mighty
In our love
Like an inferno
trapped in ice
You shall break free from within me
And command me to blend into you"
I got more of a vampire-ish feeling from it. But still a great write.
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