I desperately had to take a dump while at work
and everyone knows you're not supposed to take a dump
at your place of employment --
it is the unwritten code of an employee's contract:
shitting in our toilets is clear grounds for dismissal
so I opted to use the public washroom
as opposed to the staff toilet.
I entered the middle stall,
whiped the filth from the dirty bowl,
sat down and read the wall enscriptions
much like one might read
a local newspaper
today's headline:
A DUDE SUCKED MY COCK IN THIS STALL
and for some reason this made my ass
clench like a fist
and I never did get to take
that shit at work today.
In a list
A contest entry
- Complain!! by TerriMac.
875 points, ended November 22, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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hahaha!
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Hahaha, man!! The same would probably happen to me if I get to read something like that.
Hilarious and bookmarked!
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wow...hilarious!
must have been an uncomfortable rest of the day too -
LMAO!!!!!!
You know... we don't have that rule at my office... we just always use Febreeze or some kind of air freshener afterwards.
I think it's understandable that reading an inscription like that made you clench. Haha.
You're a riot. I love it. Mr. Comedian.
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Beautiful.
I love how you are so blunt and uncensored! I'm glad I'm not the only poet who, instead of writing shit, writes about shit. Bravo!
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how poetic
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mmmmm - not sure what this has to do with the competition of complaint? or am I missing the trick here?
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I was complaining about the dicomfort of being unable to relieve myself for 6 hours.
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GOTCHA!!
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i poop at work almost everytime I'm there.
eh. missed out on that part of the contract. I prefer clean bowels.
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haha. nice write.
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wow!~ lol
wow this was very...interesting i was having a bad day and now i read this and it jus made me laugh it is great all though it made my tummy growl lol! good job
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Clap
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Giggling in bed
I think you are brilliant
X x -
Do we work in the same building??? This made my cheeks clench reading it. Great job of stirring more than emotions, but tightening our bowles!
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I hope things go more smoothly today. winks. I love poems that make me cringe a little. lol. There's nothing like home when it comes to taking a dump, is there?
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oh my goodness this is hilarious!! once it goes back up, it doesn't like coming back down again i cant stop laughing... everyone poos in the middle stall, toilet graffiti... this is funny for so many reasons.
HOORAH!!!!!
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Raw. Can "mutt" like be a positive statement, if so, it is.
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yes, I am a sad, lost & dirty puppy...someone should adopt me.
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Adoption.
Foster you maybe; that way we can give you back when you fill the litter tray too much or by the sounds of this poem - not enough
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had to get the plunger out when I got home.
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kinky!
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C
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I was not aware of this rule...
Lovely poem... it made me feel all warm and... something... on my insides
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x]
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LMAO, ahhhh you do make me laugh Don't hold back any of the details will you? I find your honesty AND poetic ability sexy
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l.m.f.a.o.
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nice
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