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Gold Fitted Wings (

 

 

Eyes

turn from

righteous light

faiths being shook

free

~@~

Souls

searching

the waves rage

that brush shores of

fear

~@~

Take

both hands

lead me please

the rocks are slick,

dark

~@~

Your

presence

strongly felt

warmth surrounding

me

~@~

My

anchor

is missing

life is stripping

trust

~@~

Like

wet rocks

we slip and fall

and dreams seem far

off

~@~

Be

patient

seek the path

leading straight to

Him

~@~

As

waters

become still

your feet planted

firm

~@~

Fear

will fade

you will soar

with gold fitted

wings

 

~@~

The

broken

He will mend

through Him I am

saved

~@~

 


 

 

 

 

Author notes

A Lanturne String



Syllable count is:



1-2-3-4-1

(X 10)










A Lanturne has a syllable count of:



1

2

3

4

1





A String consists of at least ( 3 ) Lanturne -

Pretty simple stuff Poets.....I will be looking at, Aesthetics & Message -



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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Arkbear gold member
    November 16

    Edit | Reply

    Hello

     

    *we slip and fall* = 4 sylls....should be 3

     

    #'s 4 & 5 Lanturnes are a tad off in Form....but hardly noticable....unless you're me

     

    Your Flow without punc.'s is very nice.....I had no problem finding your Tone and going with it all throughout your entire write....nice job......very pretty LString.....and your message is really nice as well -

     

    I can see the effort you placed into this entry.....good luck!

     

    Bear -

     

    Lead me....the rocks are slick......so very true -


  • ZachP silver member
    November 12

    Edit | Reply
    this is an absolutely gorgeous poem, and your form and flow are just stellar.
    You have some beautiful imagery here as well! A wonderful lanturne string.
    Best of luck in the contest,
    Zach Estel.


  • Swangrnv gold member
    November 12

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    another form piece? very well done my friend, don't know the form but i know a nicely penned piece when i read it and this is another example of your exceptional talent..good stuff my friend!


  • jackreed3 gold member
    November 9
    Edit | Reply
    Nice lovely work...I would just love to see your form...


  • JinSays gold member
    November 9
    Edit | Reply
    Come on lovely, let's g
    love,
    jin

  • JinSays gold member
    November 9
    Edit | Reply
    Come on lovely, let's g
    love,
    jin

  • JinSays gold member
    November 9
    Edit | Reply
    Come on lovely, let's g
    love,
    jin

  • JinSays gold member
    November 9
    Edit | Reply
    Come on lovely, let's g
    love,
    jin

  • JinSays gold member
    November 9
    Edit | Reply
    Come on lovely, let's g
    love,
    jin


  • Griswold silver member
    November 9

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautifully spiritual honey, and very pleasing to the eye as well my love. He is always with you dear heart, in all things He protects and keeps you. Do not despair sweetheart... I am here as well... I love you... Scott


  • Rend the Veil gold member
    November 8

    Edit | Reply
    I havent been able to write a spiritual in a while,
    its been a few months actually , sighs~ this is so beautiful
    gosh I feel this way..truly beautiful Tory,

    love and blessings always

    Rend

1 - 11 of 11