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Insignificance

Staring up at the sky I asked the stars, “How many of you died,
in the time it took your light to reach my eyes? And when you blew,
did you take out someone like me? Cold, alone, empty… Strapped on
by Gravity… that invisible, evil, bondage bitch, to a floating sphere
of catastrophe… We keep trying to organize chaos, failing miserably.

But what I want is small, really.

…Just the phone in my pocket to ring…

Author notes

Hmm I guess both prompts really...

A contest entry

What did you think

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Griswold gold member
    November 8

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    I'll make a suggestion to you for this poem.... Turn the damn phone on!!!! Very well done, Oh, one other thing, you do have to give somebody your number too... Best of luck... Scott


  • sgking123
    November 8

    Edit | Reply

    struck by this one

    Niet...inspires you and is writ large in your write.....an amourous and balck way to go about emoting the feelings..this poem was pretty high up on that....help me further by explaining how niet got in this


  • February Moon gold member
    November 8

    Edit | Reply
    I liked this. Well done.


  • Matt E. Smith gold member
    November 8

    Edit | Reply
    as opposed to allyce I really dig the ending and the contrast between the profoundity of the beginning and the simplicity of the end. I mean from an outside view that phone ringing doesn't seem like a big deal but when you are on the receiving end it can mean the world. excellent.


  • Allyce May gold member
    November 8

    Edit | Reply
    I really liked alllll of this, like seriously impressed, but there was a couple of things at the end that threw me off, namely "failing miserably" (it's been done) and the last line. I think it's because the body of the poem is so beautiful and gutsy and thought provoking and then the ending ties it to something as inessential as a phone in a pocket. Though I will admit, it is a striking comparative and works to highlight the apparent magnitude/importance of the phone ringing. Wow, I am starting to ramble, lol. I really enjoyed this though, which is why I went to town on it

    Thanks for entering


    • Genevieve79
      November 8
      Edit | Reply
      Actually, the whole point in insignificance... that wishing someone would call means more than universes collapsing, depending on your vantage point... it is all the same... Whether there is peace or war on this or any planet, or in myself or anyone else... in the end all that matters is who you mattered to... I guess... that is my take on things anyway.

1 - 6 of 6