Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Collared

 

 

 

 

i.

 

She slipped a noose around the birds

and bound them to apple trees.

 

Oh, look how they flutter

around tangles of branches,

just below the skies

and breathing humanized oxygen,

until their tethers pull taut;

 

tied to the nest 

 

 

ii.

 

I wanted to surround the clouds with papyrus

but I was left minding wingless robins.

She told me they'd choked on freedom.

But they dropped to the ends of their strings

 

like pale marionettes.

 

And burying them seemed sacrilegious.











































Author notes

Prompt:

And the days are not full enough
And the nights are not full enough
And life slips by like a field mouse
Not shaking the grass

~ Ezra Pound

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Ryno
    November 11
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    This was absolutely brilliant! LOVED this. Just...you know, everything about it. I am not going to go into much more detail... but WOW.


  • Max Alexandersson
    November 10
    Edit | Reply
    This is just.... Fucking in Awe and WOOOOOW.

  • Virgoan
    November 9
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    Wow! I wish I could write a short piece like this considering a quickie.

    Kudos Ma'am.

    Thanks for sharing.

  • Rowan gold member
    November 9
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations, very unique. I would maybe change the last line by taking out the word like,and just have sacriligious. ? Either way, well done.


  • Cerulean Sunrise gold member
    November 8
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    amazing as always.


  • Griswold gold member
    November 8
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    Eeeeee Gads!!!! Poor little birdies!!! This is just... So damn sad, I mean, I'm gonna have nightmares now about tethered birds strangling themselves trying to fly free... Well done and best of luck... Scott


  • Matt E. Smith gold member
    November 8
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    this is beautifully written. the images are so well thought out and blend effortlessly together. impressive.


  • Allyce May gold member
    November 8
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    I LOVE love loveeeee this! As soon as I finished reading it I went right back and read it again. I connected the title to the substance of the poem immediately and such beautiful and delicate imagery - the birds, the fluttering, the marionettes - married with the idea of hanging is startling.

    I want to own the last three lines This is amazing work for a quickie.

    Thanks for entering


  • Genevieve79
    November 8
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    wow, this you really draw the reader in and take them for a ride with this. It is very thought provoking and artistic, great write. Good luck in the contest!


  • Tzipora
    November 8
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    the first stanza is just complete wow. loved it ALOT !


  • Naridill gold member
    November 8
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    You are the oxygen in my eyes, deary~!
    This is stellar.

1 - 11 of 11