Another fuckin’ wasted day.
No time to dream, with hell to pay.
Again the ransom proves to be
way too much, too much for me.
Rapidly ... days slowly pass
to beat me up and kick my ass
to pound, to pummel, and destroy
the dreams I had, when once a boy.
Each day I place a bet to win,
but I have found to my chagrin
the cards were stacked as they were dealt
and blows were struck below the belt.
Held hostage now, condemned to death
I find there is a willingness
to sacrifice what’s left of me
this hollow silhouette to thee.
Copyright ©2009 Howard Robert Manser
PR-B85
A contest entry
- Quickie # 27 of 37! More Prewrites lol...Only 10 to go to reach 100!!! by Beautiful-N-Broken.
460 points, ended November 22, 50 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I would like your interpretation of the aformentioned.
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Oh wow, amazing write. You did such a great job writing this. Thank you so much for entering this into my contest and giving me the chance to read it. Good luck in the contest!
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Beautiful-N-Broken
Thank You!
Howard
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not sure if you edited or not...
all I do know
is that I seen it as much more fluid on reread
the only line I stumbled on was
"way too much, too much for me."
still
a contender -
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sheltered
I worked on it a bit. The line, "way too much, too much for me.", I have decided to leave. Thank You for your appraisal. Every little bit helps and is appreciated. Howard
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i really like this poem! i thought it was very clever well done x
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jamesfox85
Thank You, Howard
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the flow was a little bit off
the rhyme was a little off
but the poem on the whole was
a hell of a lot on....
seriously good
maybe I will read it smoother when sober
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sheltered
You were correct... now tweeked. Thank You! Howard
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