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Hello God

Forgive me for not feeling like i'm beautiful when you made your face shine upon me.
You are holy and magnificent you deserve for everyone to worship you.
For even the rocks and the trees cry out to you, so why should we stop?
Thank you for everything you have done for me throughtout all my life.     



Author notes

I wanted to make it different, but I feel like it was kind of the same as everyone else.
Although lately i have felt like I don't deserve to live and questioning god'S reason for making such a worthless human such as myself.

A contest entry

Anything to make it better?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • mrocun
    November 11

    Edit | Reply
    I love the first line...brings up many different associations in my mind. I think I'd feel the same way if I met 'god' too...
    Well done.

    Samuel.


  • Dray I. Disaster
    November 8

    Edit | Reply
    "You are holy and magnificent you deserve for everyone to worship you."
    This line seems a bit awkward. The other lines are pretty good, this is the only line that doesn't sound right when I read it aloud. And typo for "throughtout" in the last line hehe.

    "For even the rocks and the trees cry out to you..." I like this line. Reminded me of the psalms my folks used to sing when I was a child.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts XD


    - Dray