The Platnum hood

The platinum hood
(two friend move to east LA only to have the funniest impossible things happen to them when living in a gang capital state.)

~ After 4 days, 10 hours and 13 minutes of flying from Pennsylvania to California Los Angeles the plane finally lands on lax airport.~

Flight attendant-  “welcome to LAX air port , we hope you had a wonderful flight” *she smiled cocking her head  to the side.*

Sam- *after grabbing her luggage  she goes to the stairs* Wow …this  is way bigger then the one in Pennsylvania! *as she takes a step a little boy in a red cowboy hat runs past her shoving her down the stairs* AHHHHHHHHHHH! *Her purse flys out of her hands as a guy with black hair walks by, the purse hits him in the head*

Guy- OUCH! *he looks down and sees it* it’s raining purses?  *He looks over to see the girl tumbling down the stairs.* 

Jess- *comes running down the stairs shoving and old guy aside* SAM! SAM! speak to me! *she kneels beside her and shakes her* SAM! if you can hear me don’t go towards the light!!!!! DO YOU NEED MEDICAL TRANSPORTATION?!!!!! *she screams*

Guy- *he looks at them thinking that they are total idiots.* Ummm…*he says walking toward the girls* you dropped this….. on my head. 

Sam - *looks at him squinting* …is it my imagination or is a hot guy talking to us?

Jess- *goes over and pokes him* OMG! HE”S REAL!!!!!!!

Guy- ummmm yeahh…ill jus put this here and …I think I hear my mom calling me *turns* COMING MOTHER! *runs off VERY fast*

Sam-  Look what you did! He ran away! *she gets up*

Jess- Son of a bunny!

Sam- *grabs her purse looking through it* hey! he took my lipstick! What a rip off!
Red was not his color!

Jess- I’d say a summer pink is more him.

Sam- lipstick stealer *she mumbles*

*they go to the doors to the building*

Jess- *tries opening the door* Hey! *she jiggles it* OPEN UP YOU SHMOE! *she curses*

Sam- what the bunny is wrong with you?

Jess- The germ infested piece of crap wont open! *she says putting her foot on the door and pulls*

Sam- hmmmm *drops her bag and wraps her arms around jess’s waist and help* Count of three pull!

Both- 1…2…uuhhhhh *looks puzzled*

Jess- what comes after 2?

Sam- 33! PULL!!!

*they both yank and suddenly the handle comes off and they both fly backwards into a garbage can*

Jess- AHHHHHHHHHH! I NEED A BATH!!! *she screams jumping up*

Sam- I NEED HOT WATER! HAND SANITIZER!!! MEDICAL TRANSPORTATION!!!!! *she tries getting out but gets stuck* HELP!!!!!!

Jess- *goes to pull her out but stops* WHAT IS THAT!!!!!!? *points to her shoulder*

Sam- *looks to see a white substances on her* THAT BETTER BE MAYO!!! *she screams and rocks her body trying to get out*

*the trashcan suddenly tips over and she tumbles out*

Sam-  *She stands up and sees a spider on her* AHHH SPIDER!!!!!!!!! *she runs around screaming and runs into an opening door and falls on top of a guy*

Guy 2- CAN”T BREATHE!!! *he gasps as she accidentally elbowed him in the nuts*

Sam- DON’T DIE MR, INHALE, EXHALE!!!! *she says*

Guy 2- *gasp’s* you’re on my balls!

Sam- *not understanding* you want to go to the mall?

Jess- *pulls her up* he said you’re on his balls.

Sam- ohhhh that would make more sense *she wiped off a banana peel* okay the doors open….

Jess- quick before it closes!!!!

*they both run inside to the airport*

Desk clerk- I’m sorry but the Jaguar had been given to a Mr. Plazer *she said glancing at the computer screen*

Sam- son of crap *she cursed looking at her friend* Now what?

Jess- *sighs and looks at the clerk* isn’t there another car you could give us?

Clerk- well there is one car we can give you since some one cancelled at the last moment

Jess- we’ll take it *She grabs the key out of the girls hand and pays*

Sam-  I bet it’s a HUMMER!!!

Jess- *smiled* I bet it’s a limozine

*they walk out, after 3 hours of trying to find their car Sam comes across the right number*

Sam- over here! *she calls looking shocked and disappointed*

Jess- *runs over smiling until she reached the car her smile drops into a frown* this isn’t a car it’s a box on wheels!!!!

*there sitting in the lot was a  old beat up 1980’s Cadillac *

Jess- *growled* I should go in and pummel that lady! *turns to go in*

Sam- *grabbed her by the back of the shirt* you’ll go to jail!

Jess- yeah so?! *keeps walking dragging Sam*

Sam- we’ll be no good in jail! THOSE LADIES ARE MANLY!  We’ll be their bitches!!!  and personally I’m too pretty to be some ones bitch!

Jess- *stops and turns* ewwwwwwie! On second thought…I think I’ll send her an angry letter. 

*They get in the car and take off after leaving a note on the ladies car*

Clerk- *walks to her car and find a note she opens is and it says* “ WHAT THE BUNNY?! WHAT KIND OF BUNNY CRAP IS THIS?!! THIS IS NO BUNNY CAR!!! THIS IS AN INNSULT! YOU SHMOE!!! YOU’RE LUCKY MY FRIEND HELD ME BACK CUZ I WOULD OF GONE KONG FU PANDA ON YOUR ASS!
IF I SEE YOU AGAIN IMMA ….WELL ITS GUNA GET UGLY!
P.S…was the guy you sold the jag too hot???
byeeee!
Jess & sam.