the worst feeling in the world

the worst feeling in the world is one i get to experience everyday
you wake up knowing you are helpless
knowing that no matter how hard you try
you can not change anything

slowly she withers away
all i am is helpless
i help her use the bathroom
i bring her to bed and help her get in

you can smell her festering from the inside out
slowly shes rotting away like old wood
her once chipper personality is gone
she is stuck inside the house

her legs full of fluid and her life full of pain
the cancer has spread and will never go away
no one can tell how long she has left
but im secretly wishing she would go soon

not because i hate her but because i love her
i want her to live happy not sad
she has never been anything but nice to anyone
she is caring and sweet

she doesnt deserve this and there is nothing i can do to help
this feeling of helplessness is killing me
i spend my days caring for her ane helping around the house
shes dying and im helpless