Mommy can you hear me from a far?
Your baby is crying, but you dont have the heart,
sing hush little baby, calm her down,
but your little girl is out on her own now
Mommy can you hear the phone ring?
please pick it up, no one else is listening.
I need your advice mommy, please
Mommy do you hear your little girl speak,
telling you that she will soon be on the streets?
Save her, mommy save me.
I can no longer save myself.
Please tell me how to make this better
Comments
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hmmm ...
Some capitalization would not be to your disadvantage when you begin every line , I find that poems seem to have a greater ...Shall we say 'Hit' to them when they emphasize certain key words .
Otherwise lass , This is a very emotional piece , and very sad ...Good work .
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WOW!
Good raw emotional work in this poem. I can sense some of the sadness portrayed in this as well. Thanks for presenting this work.
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