Her velvet lips my heart did start
and Love the key to my future,
as time battled to do us part.
Her velvet lips my heart did start
taking leave of the dead man’s cart,
a woman’s touch the proper cure.
Her velvet lips my heart did start
and Love the key to my future.
Author notes
a w a n n a b e p o e t -
A little Triolet.
Please tell me what you think offer some advice on how to make it just that much better
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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an niice place to start with this kiss well in thought for there is always a begining Hugs always dear one well said ♥♥
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Hello Angel,
Thank you so much for always finding such comforting words, you know I appreciate every single comment nad you always been a great friend to me.
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making me melt...so lovely!
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Awe shucks, thank you so very much for those most encouraging words. You are so generous with your praise.
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=) i like it.
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thank you so very much for your wonderful comments, they are much appreciated you know.
I owe you a million reads and ten thousand hugs.
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well done cuz
good flow and form
lovely write my friend
hope all is well there with you
have a nice day
thanks for the share
Darky
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Hiya Cuz,
Thank you so very much from being there for me from day one, it is so appreciated.
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ooohhh I must try a Triolet!! Great job with a powerful repeated line... what do they call that again?? ... anyhow it is simply beautiful, loving and liking the line about a womans touch being a proper cure... blew me away with this soft piece!! Nice work x DD
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Thank you so much DD, you always bring a smile to me from your wonderful comments.
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There you go--always experimenting! Love the repeating line and the structure.
It does seem to be a very well chosen line to repeat!
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I love trying different things, this one is ok I guess probably needs something a little more dramatci though for such a short poem.
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Intriguing and quite beautiful.
ya All~Ways,
~ Jan ~
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Awe, thank you so much Jan you are a most devout reader this I will say.
You have quite the capacity for insight as well. -
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Thank you very much. Reading does amazing things for a soul, as does life.
Thank our lucky stars for all those poets of old who passed on the wisdom of the ages through their verse, music, and song!
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My dear friend it seems as if love meets you at your door, just make sure its love that you can give your life to.
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Hi FF911, I always try to do what I can in all matters even in failure I guess.
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very beautiful, fantastic job, i love it
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Thank you so very much for your wonderful comment, it is much appreciated.
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Tghis is beautiful! I think the key to writing a Triolet is in the repeating line. The one you have composed here is lovely.
Love,
Amera♥
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Amera, you know that crazy cool Dancing Avatar of yours is like a fire to set the world ablaze.
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