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I tried...

I tried to fly on concrete wings
        but they could not hold me up:

I tried to run on broken legs
        how these voices they did laugh:

I tried to write my problems away
        words could not begin to explain:

I tried to fill the emptiness with tears
        not even the ocean could fill this hole:

I poured the boiling water on my skin
        and learned what it was like to smile again.

Author notes

"We couldn't imagine the emptiness of a creature who put a razor to her wrists and opened her veins, the emptiness and the calm."

A contest entry

What do you think?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • Serenity-words
    November 11
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is a very good poem. The words came through to me so very well.
    Great job
    ~Serenity


  • as.phy.xi.ate. silver member
    November 8

    Edit | Reply
    Bit difficult to read but very sad and striking write, sadism isn't that what thats called? Anyways, Great job, Good Luck


    • Forgotten Anomaly
      November 8

      Edit | Reply
      Is it hard to read because of how its written, the background, the style, the concept? Thank you for the comment and hosting a wonderful contest.

      • as.phy.xi.ate. silver member
        November 8
        Edit | Reply
        Just the background but alas I can highlight it and read it. I don't like it when people are asses about backgrounds and such.