completely void

I feel it burning deep in me
This,
this feeling that hurts inside of me.

This intangible mess.

I can't control it.

I'm.A.Mess.

My insides feel like they're being tugged at.
Everything hurts.
And I just want to cut,
I want to see blood.
Anything to make the pain within me go away.

I can't cry.

I.Can't.Cry.

I am literally incapable of producing tear-drops anymore.
It's like my tear ducts have been taped shut.

I guess you become desensitized of all emotion
When your rock almost passes,
the one person that took care of you your whole life.
And ends up in the hospital for one month.

It's the cherry on top of my complicated, messed up life.

I am nineteen, but I have more life experience than some 50 year-olds.

And I am completely void of all emotion.