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Your Heart Is an Empty Room (Collab)

i feel the need to strike a match
and set fire to our cracked foundations
that have already crumbled past
being able to support our heavy hearts.

and we gaze out separate sides;
separate windows, as the world wanders by
without even a backward glance

if only i could walk through walls...

I feel the need to clog the drain
and let the water rise to all of my damaged woes
to wash away those painful memories
and reach to protect my numbing mind.

and we long to be together;
not in separate rooms, as love passes by
we must move on, we can't look back

if only I could look back...  









I remember how the beginning was easy,
with me playing hard to get
and you catching me every time
just to have me slip through your fingers
one more time.

Then you got me; caged me
and the bars wouldn't melt away.




So I waited for spring,
hoping I could bloom again,
and that I could see another room
other than the deep blue walls
of your oxygen deprived heart.


Set me free...

It was never this hard before,
I constantly doubted your feelings,
yet you stayed with me.
Not this time, you don't want me anymore.
This was the last time.


I thought you were mine,
but no, you wanted to get away.

So long did I wait,
praying that you would stay.
It's my fault for drowning you
with love and kind words,
into your oxygen flooded heart.

You are free...

Author notes

in collaboration with KnightOfTheRose (in italics)

Any ways i could have possibly make this any better?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Valley Girl silver member
    November 14
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    Lovely collab. I think this is the first one I have read of yours? I maybe mistaken though. Anyways, the imagery and emotion is fantastic! Thanks for sharing!

  • KnightOfTheRose gold member
    November 10
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    Hm where have I seen this before? I love our collaboration. I never really liked freeverse but this turned out great Now I need to write another freeverse for your contest



    -Steve-


    • Nakatrea
      November 10
      ?
      Edit | Reply
      ooooh its wonderful!
      we should definitely do this again.
      I love how you mirrored my form
      its great


      • KnightOfTheRose gold member
        November 10
        ?
        Edit | Reply
        I'm so glad you liked it. Yes we should, whenever you have another idea let me know


  • HereComesTheSun
    November 8
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    really really like this
    please let knightoftherose know that them like you did a stunning job :]

1 - 9 of 9