it is difficult to find comfort
amidst brown broken branches
even when there is no wind to switch
cattails – it is a leaf-shaking experience, this~
place of ghosts
grinning in heaps of gathered flutter
slumping below dry vines of yesterday’s climb
taking over paths I kept tidy, before ~
turn of season from fall to bitter sharp winter
when I must grieve ~ oh, yes, I must ~
having found myself in this known realm
where music no longer thrums in late asters’ ache
for they have given up battle
having been shook too much too long, but ~
yes, they were beautiful, and, yes, they will return
but I cannot visualize their sometime-transformation
back to form I have loved through September;
through October’s dance of colors that took my mind off
wither and gone-thither right under my eyes ~ no
do not take this raw gift from me
over-turning suddenly and then
when it too late to bring in my promises ~
noticing it/them gone beyond hope of revival
no more dragonflies coming between me and the sun
as earth changes to beautiful skeletal detail,
barren of posies and primroses on trellises now put away
to a chilled basement to stand like bones empty of marrow~
an exact translation of empty
let me, now, examine this pod and husk few days
for what is not here ~
strange that spirits can become ghostly
when we reach out to bring them close
and our hands and hearts are smudged
by their dying ~ by death
do I know what I valued; by gone,
is there feelings of clank and turn of key;
by now, I should be used to this season ~
but I’m not ~ do not comfort me, yet~
this is a strange old yard that has footprints
but no visitors ~yet
Author notes
My mother passed away Nov. 2.
This is instant writing that came as fast as I could type it.
In a list
- Beautiful Words by Beautiful People I Know • next in list
- Silver Poetry • next in list
- A Woman's Writhe • next in list
A contest entry
- Favourites ONLY by Laura Lamarca.
1300 points, ended November 20, 21 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
Carol, I'm so sorry for your loss...these words are proof that you are a special, amazing woman...I sense your mother nodding.
-
-
And she visits, often, these nights when dark is heavy and house is quiet. Amazing how she knows! Ty for your comments.
-
-
"having found myself in this known realm
where music no longer thrums in late asters’ ache"
Sigh. I know the empty depths of a similar realm and the aches it brings to bear upon a worn and weary heart. This is beautiful, yes and overwhelming with its demands of sorrow that must be borne. And you do, somehow. Always with grace, ever with elegance. There is so much I would wish for you, my Sister...but most of all, I wish for you to find your peace beyond this pain.
-
-
And so I do...and so I do... and often, when she comes, I am drawn into the lap of love and care.... someone had a dream of me and saw it happening as well..serendipity because this women did not know about my dreams I was having, but described them specifically.
I do not know what is going on, but something is definitely going on... I have never heard of acute inflammatory immune shut-down, but am on bed rest for now. Now moving into elven weeks of it...and tired of being IT, I can tell you that... tired of whining about it as well. Something has to give, and I am wondering about why...and have had a few messages from friends that may give a spark of reason. You know me well enough to know I am a retired workaholic..... and neither is restful...lol... what the body cannot do, the mind, emotion and spirit will make up for.
This has been a beautiful grieving though.... and I am grateful to have had , for the first time, absolutely NO regrets. -
-
I know of such dreams, as well. I have had them enough times to bring peace when peace could no longer be found.
One's body will shut down when the stress grows too fierce, I know, as a way of protecting itself, I suppose. Ohhh, please take the greatest care of yourself, my beloved Sister. 
(tucks you into a warm, soft afghan ever so gently...and hands you your notebook, dammit.) 
-
-
-
"no more dragonflies coming between me and the sun
as earth changes to beautiful skeletal detail,
barren of posies and primroses on trellises now put away
to a chilled basement to stand like bones empty of marrow~
an exact translation of empty"
we never get used to the season...we just learn how to wear its coat, even if it never keeps us warm.
i clicked in and was crying before i even read this...your soul is on this page & it's hurting & i have a natural urge to try to heal you...yet this is your coat and rightfully so - it's the one that has raised you; let it warm you while you grieve.
your soul is truly beautiful.
-
-
I only met her three years ago right now, and those three years have been blessings beyond measure. What a gift these years were for me.. I remember only the beautiful of her, the best of her, and she has met the more soulful and less worldly part of me. Thank you, my friend, for your kind words...and, of course, the silver.
-
-
aaah, Carol....big hugs to you on the loss of your mother. the leaves in this poem sing...
~ Nicolette
-
-
ty, Nicolette. I feel a book coming on, and it may include and be a comp0ilation of a Woman's Writhe and The Turquoise Tears.....
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 9 of 9
