Thorns

There is a certain sorrow, which I’ve begun to feel
It’s crawled out through the heartache, and begun nipping at our heals
Despite the way things ended, with that certain show of grace
Things unhurriedly began to shatter and then dissolved away
Eventually the vines of truth began to stretch along the floor
And I began to realize that beyond the truth there was much more

There were lakes of deception hidden by witty trees
Thorns and weeds often invading the peace
The truth of the past got entangled in those lies
And despite your words, I knew I had to find…

Once long ago, we were happy it seemed
You rode to me as a prince could accomplish only in a dream
You were magnificent and glowing and perfect in your hue
There was undoubtedly and inevitably only you

We made it last throughout the years
We shared the joy and we shared the tears
Despite the heartache and the pain we felt
I loved you then and no one else

In 2006, the storms started to hit
Mountains began to tumble as the earth began to split
Nothing seemed the same, in this world we had once known
And all of this because, pretty soon we’d have to go

In 2007, you watched me fly away
You promised you would be there, but you got frightened away
You weren’t as ready to commit as you had thought
So in the end, I made all the changes, and you just could not

Despite the walls which were constructed on that day
I didn’t lie when I said I loved you, and that could never go away
I forgave you then without a second thought
And at the time it seemed at least we had enough

We had everything to keep us going strong
But soon I began to wonder… where all of that had gone
To me it seemed, you got tired of speaking to me
And you lashed out, frustrated by my “delusions” 

I was making it worse, that’s what you had believed
I started all the fights which made you want to leave
It was absurd that I could think, that you could perform any wrong
And by the end of 2007, we… you… it was all gone

We remained friends even after that day
You came to me with problems, and I still helped soothe them away
It hurt to hear how happy without me you could be
But I was glad you were happy, even if it wasn’t with me

I held you when she broke your heart
Wiped away the tears, and helped you get your new start
I watched you cry as you took those pills
I don’t need to say the name, but they made you very ill
And that’s when vengeance took over your heart
You had to ruin her life, because she tore yours apart
And that’s when the pretty world I had painted in my head
Turned into thorns on that swampy covered bed

Curiosity drove me, for I had to know the truth
Those thorns strangled me, and just wouldn’t let me loose
I watched my blood flow, from every puncture on my skin
I struggled to be free, to maybe start again

But, the damage had been caused and I could not turn away
You had lied to me every single day
Our falling out was there to cover the truth
Of the infidelity that somehow now defined you

You had betrayed me for months it seems
Lied to me and fucked away all of our dreams
With some girl who didn’t even care
Who was always unfaithful, but at least she was there

You told me later, it was the distance that formed this wedge
The loneliness consumed you, pushing you closer to the edge
And despite the love you claimed to have for me
It wasn’t enough without physical contact, and we could never be

You cried and apologized for creating such a scheme
Forced yourself to lie, say you were sorry for putting the blame all on me
But, the truth is I don’t believe you cared
If she hadn’t made you, none of this would have been shared

I tried to say, it was okay I love you just the same
But the world had already ended; it just couldn’t stay the same
That girl had died and already went on her way
Out of it grew a wiser girl who just couldn’t bring herself to stay

So here today I’m telling you, I’m sorry I can’t forgive
It hurts me more than you may know, but I really want to live
A life without the heartache and devastation you have caused
It wasn’t worth it, but it wasn’t all for a loss

From all this, I learned to trust myself
To love me first before someone else