i wanna go back, but then i don't

i wanna go back
but then i don't
i wish i could
but i'm not sure i won't

he loves her
like he could never love me
my heart belongs to my boyfriend
but it wishes he was more free

with how he loves me
more then kisses and hugs
more flirting and loving words
and less scaredness and love "plugs"

isee my ex-crush a
and my heart goes bezerk
i see him with my best friend
and i feel like a jerk

she's still friends with me
but she's with him
my minds so confused
becuase iknow my choices are clear but slim

he loves her
like he could never love me
my heart is so confused
and longs to be free

of all these feelings
i know i shouldn't be feeling
but inside my brain
my mind is churning with feelings

im really kinda jelous
because of the way he touches her
everytime i look
my sadness does stur

i want things to go back
when he was just with me
we were never  a couple
but it was what i wished we could be

how do i tell her when sher asked me to begin with
if it was okay
that she could be with him
and i said iwanted it to be that way

i want them to be with each other so bad
but my heart keeps hurting
i want them to be lovey with each other
but my heart hurts so bad when they are flirting

i wanna go back when it was just me and him
but i don't because i love my boyfriend
and i love him way more
and i don't want him and i  to end

when i was young they said i was stupid
for choosing to love without being afraid
but now i am wishing
that i had been more scared and had been careful which choice of boy i made

i want to go back
where he knew i liked him
and i had a chance
but i nknow now that really, my choices were slim

it hurts because i'm in love
with my boyfriend
and my f***in' heart won't quit drooling over "this other guy"
the guy that i wish my old feelings would just die and end

i love my boyfriend
and i know what i have to do
this poem is for my best friend, its for her to read
so she knows how i feel and that i care about her true

i don't want there to be a blood bath
between her and me
iwant her to be with him
because me and him isn't the way....

          that it is supposed to be.

this is for my best friend in the whole world, because i know i can't let our friendship be run into the ground because of an old flame. i love my friend, my sister because she's tbeen there for me thru thick and thin, this poem is for her... because  i know there is no one more perfect for her, then him.