Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

autoregulation doesn't work if you weren't originally stable



& everything began
to taste like sodium.

my body apparently knew
autoregulation tactics
that i hadn't even dreamt of

to get rid of the bitter
residue of you
that clung to my tongue
like morning breath.

i've learned not to regurgitate
my feelings,
so i let them rock inside me
(everyone knows
you shouldn't shake a baby)
until food tasted bad.

i forced myself to eat
a piece of cheese for protein:
it tasted like someone
poured salt into my mouth
already full of wounded words -
can you even imagine
how much that stung?

i swallowed,
just like i've taken in
everything about you
without verbalizing
a facial expression.

more & more, i needed
nourishment -
but there was no satisfaction
& still i was hungry.

i thought things were bad
before;
at least then, comfort foods
had some degree of comfort
because regret set in.

now i guess i've learned
to take that with a grain of salt.











A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • sideways hourglass
    November 11

    Edit | Reply
    I thought this was strong until you got to the cheese part - I do think that was one of the awkward spots that Tegan was talking about. i think that was enough to actually throw off the overall feel of the piece. if that spot is improved, i think it will give the poem more strength as a whole. this is still great writing though.


  • stasis
    November 11

    Edit | Reply

    5

    The first two lines were amazing. There were a few parts that seemed a little awkward to me, but I really enjoyed reading it.


  • Age of Rain
    November 10
    Edit | Reply
    Amazing.