& everything began
to taste like sodium.
my body apparently knew
autoregulation tactics
that i hadn't even dreamt of
to get rid of the bitter
residue of you
that clung to my tongue
like morning breath.
i've learned not to regurgitate
my feelings,
so i let them rock inside me
(everyone knows
you shouldn't shake a baby)
until food tasted bad.
i forced myself to eat
a piece of cheese for protein:
it tasted like someone
poured salt into my mouth
already full of wounded words -
can you even imagine
how much that stung?
i swallowed,
just like i've taken in
everything about you
without verbalizing
a facial expression.
more & more, i needed
nourishment -
but there was no satisfaction
& still i was hungry.
i thought things were bad
before;
at least then, comfort foods
had some degree of comfort
because regret set in.
now i guess i've learned
to take that with a grain of salt.
A contest entry
- Observation by sideways hourglass.
600 points, ended November 11, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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I thought this was strong until you got to the cheese part - I do think that was one of the awkward spots that Tegan was talking about. i think that was enough to actually throw off the overall feel of the piece. if that spot is improved, i think it will give the poem more strength as a whole. this is still great writing though.
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5
The first two lines were amazing. There were a few parts that seemed a little awkward to me, but I really enjoyed reading it. -
Amazing.
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