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Of A Time (Lena)

Lena
of a time when
we still were soft and
the Bed still only of growing import in
love.

A contest entry

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

  • Neef Kykmytros
    November 12
    ?
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    Hhmm, a very original take of the picture here. Not at all that literal. Although, I do get the literal meaning of this poem. Hark back to a time when being a virgin was a virtue.


  • myrataal silver member
    November 8
    Edit | Reply

    Very poignant ...

    a familiar love story in a few words.

    Love
    Myra

  • ea silver member
    November 7

    Edit | Reply
    I thought this was building as a cinquain and it certainly could be tweaked to do so, adding one syllable to line 3, keeping it to 8 syllables in line 4, and two syllables in line 5.

    Lena
    of a time when
    we still were soft in bed
    the bed still of growing import
    in love.

    I like the title of Lena Of a Time especially and the poem's tender notion of the bed being all important or all dominating in love, the recognition of the naivete of that.