Sailing through glitter-clouds
Flamboyant harlequins roll forth
Babies of the striped canvas womb
Amidst lights and stardust
Vibrant shades of happiness dance:
Heart-swelling swaying symphony
Awe-struck by mystery
Concealed within the mirrored hall
Voices call excitedly for--
Carnaval amour
*
Amongst sawdust pathways
The dusky, dusty old marquee
Is slowly brought down to its knees
Devoid of fond riders
The Ferris wheel and carousel
Grow still; lights expiring sadly
Empty and decrepit
Within the hall a mirror cracks
A lonely soul’s voice cries out for--
Carnaval est mort
Author notes
Wanted to enter this contest since yay carnivals. The French lines read "Carnival love" and "Carnival is dead" respectively ( I hope! Using rusty French skills here)
I wanted to capture the contrast between the brightness and energy of a busy carnival, and the empty desolation of a closed fair.
A contest entry
- Contest #6 (Carnival) by VelvetWings.
1300 points, ended November 21, 15 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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C'est bien amusant ...
bonne chance dans la compétition.
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Very good. The awesome Jacques Brel, by the way, wrote a song called "L'amour est mort". Thought you might like to know, if you didn't already.
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Hello and thank you for entering my contest.
This... to put it simply, is beautiful.
I love the contrast between the beginning stanzas and the stanzas of the ending; it creates some really powerful imagery and compelling emotional response to go along with it. My favourite if I have to choose, is the stanza:
"Devoid of fond riders
The Ferris wheel and carousel
Grow still; lights expiring sadly
It speaks to me even more than the rest of your wonderful piece.
I'm glad you included a translation for the French too, since I've forgotten more French than I've ever been taught.
Was easy to pick up, but it helps to have a translation to see if I guessed particles right...lol
Best of luck to you in my contest and best wishes!
~Sparrow
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