I Remember

i loved her so much
she was my grandmother
and i was just five
or was four?
i dont even remember
but what scares me the most
is the fear of forgetting

i remember
there in her bed
sleeping so close

watching her eyes
slowly close until
she was gone to the night

i remember
there in my house
my mommy
brushing my hair

i remember
the phone ringing twice
she groans and lets go
of my unfinished hair
and moves to the phone

i remember a gasp
and mommy was gone
me and my sister
left in the room

i remember a sob
and an unknown fear
deep in my heart
i knew it was her

i remember
calling her Nana
and hugging her close
and baking each day

i remember
mommy and Vince
coming
into my room
to tell me the news

i remember
standing there shocked
then crying my eyes out

i remember
not letting go

i remember
not saying "goodbye"