by ~Gregg Rowe
Words in motion equals poetry
Control of iambic pentameters
Chosen tightly woven words
Then a poet's mistake
A feeling costs a meter
He pauses, wonders, writes about
Abstract images horizontal to
Clearing cumulus clouds
Education, taxes, children
Marriage, careers, family
The fluidity of his pen creates
A romantic mechanized rhythm
A body that is an old vessel
A black beard turned grey
His chalice may be
Half-empty or half-full
Of lifelong goals that envelopes
His soul
Swallows his humour
To the depths of Jonah's whale
His polarity and duality
Voids that have been opened
Like Pandora's Box
Releases the truth
Construction of the void lies within
The brain of subconsciousness
Brought forward to the consciousness
Yet the light was dimmed before
And darkness seeped in
Peace became chaos
Anxiety, regression, depression
Tears of yesterday
Have now been weeped
A well has been dry for years
Exhausted, and then the poet asks
If he should care?:
Let me linger in my self-pity
Like Tennessee Williams and Poe
Let me stare at my gray hair
Contemplate on my impotence
Think of sons and daughters
I failed to conceive
Let me waddle in my purposelessness
Of a sorrowful past and
An enlightened future
For the flames of evil
Are being extinguished
In jubilation, I jump and scream
'Free, free thank God, I'm free at last'
Of excuses and apologies
Let me allow these black feelings
So I can smile upon the day where
Clearing cumulus clouds vanish
Author notes
9. Write something that once read is hard to understand. The harder it is for me to understand, the more I will like it!
Written July 6th, 2003
In a list
- Mending My Muse • next in list
- Gregg's Golden Cups • next in list
- Gregg's Silver Cups • next in list
A contest entry
- Anything is everything by GothGrlfromHell.
300 points, ended June 27, 2005, 15 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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this is really good,good luk
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Wow, you really have an amazing talent. All of your poems have this uniqueness to them that leave my jaw on the floor every time. I loved the imagery in this one and just the very topic you chose to write about. It has a nice flow and great wording. it was well worth the read and I thank you so much for deciding to share it.
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Gregg,
You are more then welcome for the Gold, you deserved it. I am very glad that I interpreted your peice correctly, and all the more happy that I helped you to see a few things more clearly. When I started this contest, I had hoped you'd enter because of the simple fact that I love your work! This was a very hard contest to have to judge. It had been three days since I was able to get onto AP to read any entries, and when I came online yesterday, I had over 50 entries to have to read. Talk about a long day of reading, huh? Now I've read the other comments, and it seems I was the only one to understand it. Kind of odd since I'm almost nineteen years old.
Once again, Gregg, thank you from the bottom of my heart for entering my contest, I am honored that you did.
Vampress -
Vampress
First, let me thank you for honouring my poem with the Gold trophy. I entered your contest under the hard to understand category because believe it or not, sometimes it is hard for me to understand what I penned here. You are correct in your interpretation, it is the culmination of my life and the choices I made just before I went in for my heart operation and I contemplated my life up then. That’s all I wish to relate on that. I applaud you for your keen insight, because you pointed out a few things that are clearer to me now as I read it again. You held an awesome contest! Gregg
Edited on Aug 17, 10:32 p.m. because ''. -
You know, in a way I believe this one is actually about you. I haven't read any of the other comments for I wish to figure this out on my own, but I do believe it's about you. About your life, and the prices you've paid for the choices you've made throughout your life. I may be wrong, but after three times of reading this, that is what I got from it. Your words have always struck a place within my mind and heart. You're an excelent writer, Gregg, and I hope one day to be as wonderful poet as you are. By the way I love the unicorn background.
Vampress -
You know, I do think you should take out you stanza by stanza explanation. One of the great things about poetry is each person can interpret it differently, but still enjoy it just the same. I liked this poem, even though I may not have understood it the way you intended. It's a good poem. You shouldn't have to justify your work, it is, after all, yours. If someone doesn't get it or doesn't like it, it's not your fault. So yes, take out the explanation and let us all just enjoy your work for what it is.
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Wow nice poem, left me speechless. Very deep write and emotional. I really didn't find any real mistakes. Good luck in the contest. Great write, keep up the great work!
--------------------------------------------Eric -
Outstanding
I really liked this poem. Very deep. It is wonderful how we can write about a problem or a deeply moving topic and come up with a piece of art to share with the world. I loved so many of the stanzas this one stuck out to me:
"Let me waddle in my purposelessness
Of a sorrowful past and
An enlightened future
For the flames of evil
Are being extinguished"
Well said... If we can learn from our problems and our trials they make us stronger humans. It also makes the evil vanish aswell because we learn from them and try not to fall back into the slump of making the same mistakes....
Wonderful Write
Well Done
Derek
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i almost wished i had not read your interpretation stanza by stanza after i read it - i had a picture in my head - and in my heart about this poem - and as a 43 year old woman - i think i understood.. age and experience is not all in this world... but it accounts for much when it comes to expression of feelings - which this poem truly is - thank you for sharing itxx
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very good hehe! keep up the excellent work, your a talented poet and all of us at allpoetry dont want it go to a waste!!!
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well im not quite sure waht this poem contest was..but i wanted to read it anyway because the title sounded neat..so i read it ..and it's very good..very interesting..i can't comment on it for the contest or anything..but i'll comment on it like it's not a contest poem..if that's alright..i like the use of old poet names..and it sounds well thought out.. i like your word choice too... ex: waddle, linger, jubilation..very nice..good job with this
Treas -
I sort of figured this might not fit into your contest, but I am a 44 year old man that has been penning poetry for 30 years, the poem that appears on the page before you has been festering in my head weeks, months, sometimes a year before I write the full version out, what I write here is the final copies of my filing cabinets in my brain. I use the language that the poem dictates to me to use, I don't directly dictate language in my poem.
I am not offended that it is too high calibre..one thing that is still useful in this world is a dictionary. I won't change my language on a poem because someone cannot understand the word , it is not my verbal language, it is my voice...and this voice was surpressed for a long time. I hope that you will be able to look at other works of mine to see the diversity of writing that I do achieve. Thanks for the creative comments and I will look into the metaphors and images that I have no idea where they are since you left me no examples.
Edited on May 09, 11:25 because ''. -
This is certainly not the style of poetry I was expecting people to enter in my contest, but its certainly an interesting read. Albeit a somewhat obtuse one. You've obviously got quite a steady handle on the english language, but sometimes in exonerating the language and your grasp of it, you lose the reader, who's so busy trying to understand the language that they lose the meaning behind the words.
I found several conflicting themes in this piece, none of which I felt were fully explored as they should be. I would recommend choosing one or two key elements and developing them more fully, instead of trying to work more in. Lastly, while it doesn't matter in the general scheme of things, for my contest I wanted a somewhat more optimistic conclusion, one that instills a sense of hope in the reader, and assurance that life is really okay.
keep penning,
~^_^~
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