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Come With Me

Missing image

eyes like torches ,ocean eyes
through dark and cold,
the pain,joy,sadness ,and fears
all in the drops of crystal tears
mirroring my soul
come take a walk into my eyes
be prepared ,they'll take you on a journey
through cosmos,on a astral plane with the starlight
i'll show you the darkness of the night

triumphs, passion and delight
are revealed within your sight.

are you free?
come with me, we'll see.
take a walk into my eyes
your deepest desires will be staring back at you

 

Author notes

[J]ade.Butterfl[Y]

http://d4doggy.deviantart.com/art/Falling-83409060

 

15 lines exactly

3.
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Either
10 lines
15 lines
20 lines
25 lines
Rhyme/Freeverse/Dirty Pretty

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • as.phy.xi.ate.
    November 11

    Edit | Reply
    Truly amazing =) I loved the write. Wonderfully discriptive throughout the whole 15 lines. Thank You it was a great read.

    -Katie


  • IrishGypsyRose silver member
    November 9

    Edit | Reply
    Very very nice. I like the metaphors and the come-hither undertone of this piece. It is subtly sensual as well. Great write. Hope you place high in the contest. ~gypsy~


  • Poetic-Theorem gold member
    November 7

    Edit | Reply
    Brilliant penning hon
    it's amazing what all eyes can tell..even beautiful Turquoise eyes looks like the lovely seas and skies but buied beaneath this superfical beauty is darkness..
    Wonderful job! Write On! wish you the best..♥♥ David ♥♥


  • glenn shannon silver member
    November 7

    Edit | Reply
    when one looks into the eyes a lot can be seen past present and future and its real iodoloigstscan see illness and problems cops see lies so domums and wifes so i do believe and you have written a damn fine pen here about desire and your mind so well done baby its excellent . hey dont look at me like that it spooks me out , bless ya darling hubby glenn


  • Snowing Kisses gold member
    November 7

    Edit | Reply
    the eyes are indeed the mirror to all that lies within...this is excellent
    nice write
    T


  • AngelBellerose gold member
    November 7

    Edit | Reply
    for the eyes tell the soul.. are you free come walk with me and see the other side of you this is the feeling i got when i read your words Hun.. well penned as always Hugs Angel♥♥

1 - 6 of 6