the tiny bird's song
my son's laughter that carries the wind
delicate buds grown through concrete
find it
in unexpected places,
the corners and cubby holes of dreams-
a simple loop of thought
i look for it
in small things.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Beautifully written. I thought this was excellent. It was a lovely poem
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perfect now
Great revision. It's perfect now. -
it's the kind of loop we need to stitch through many things in our lives - this is lovely.
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Would that I could feel this way right now...
A fine sharing, my friend
It's nice to see you posting your poetry again!
You've been missed...
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wonderful
"a simple loop of thought"
perhaps you don't need the word "process" since the cubbyhole metaphor in its picturing is already a "process"?
I think I know how "laughter carries the wind" as opposed to "the wind carries the laughter". I think it means: "his laughter is what makes the wind alive with joy, carries joy to every ear." I guess it's obvious to everyone if that's it, but I'm not entirely sure, and if it's not then maybe a clarification. I don't know. What do you think?
Nevertheless and regardless, it's a wonderful poem.
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Thank you!
Yeah, I'm not so sure i need the word process...it may not completely fit in there. I'll probably take that out. I'm really not sure how that word even crept in. Maybe it's because i've been looking at an art book called 'Process Recess' by an artist i like named James Jean. So the word is probably just on the tip of my brain from looking at it.
And in the 'laughter carries the wind' you completely got what i was trying to say. I should try to add something else to that line so that others who might not completely understand it have a little more clarification? Sometimes i say or write things that make perfect sense to me but may not make sense to others, so it's helpful to have someone that's not me to ask me to elaborate on such things.
Thank you again!
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