Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

broken tears ..


like  an eagle you flew away
leaving me breathless
like an ocean
without its water
i was drained
when you walked away

i tried to speak
language of love
language only you and i
forever share
no words  was left to utter
but silents that echoes in our minds ..

the state of my heart
only god knows..
i regret this ...
i let my pride get the best of me
best of us ..
only to end up alone
dancing to empty music
of our love

there are times ...

my tears would reach my eyes
as every memory of our love
flickers in my mind
its timeless..
its weak..
its you ..

sometimes i wake up
in the midst of the night
only to find empty bed
alone again ..
i think to my self
how did we end up here
i shudder to my self
as the cold
hits my spine
i miss you ..

just like that i felt my teardrop
dropping on the pillow
we both once shared ..

i miss you please come back to me ...

Author notes

prompt 29.I let a stranger love me
I gave away my pride
I bit my lips, so I could block my mind
I've called your name to others
Just like a spinal chord
Severed and broken but the spark still tries

A contest entry

What did you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • the charmed one
    November 7
    Edit | Reply
    yes give me any feedback on what i can improve i will love to grow as poet and learn x


  • the charmed one
    November 7
    Edit | Reply
    thank you for your feedback sorry for my error grammars lol i wrote this poem from the heart i will add more poems into this contest


    • xxuglyducklingxx
      November 7

      Edit | Reply

      O.O;;

      Aww. It's fine, I just thought you'd like some critique. You've got some serious talent, I'd like to see you accel to your full potential. ! And I could tell it was from the heart, that's what made it so beautiful.


  • xxuglyducklingxx
    November 7
    Edit | Reply

    *Tears*

    This is gorgeous!!!!!!!! I think you redefined the prompt and with such a creative air.....I loved the abrupt changes in the tone..It's the equivalent of being stabbed in the kidneys and intestines. Such a beautifully complex feeling. ! I'm going through this now, and have been through it before....it is a devastation not even the cruelest of people should go through. Matters of the heart are beyond "Senial" and when ones heart is already so sick from destined eventual bruisings......You did a really great job on this. My only thing is that you had quite a few typos and grammatical errors which if my mind was not on auto correct could have been distracting, though the poem was so heartfelt and emotion-filled I was able, and more than willing to look over it. Also, the first letter of each line in a poem is supposed to be capitalized. Just looking out. ! I wish you the best of luck and thank you for entering my contest. ! Keep Writing.