I toss leaves of fire carelessly before you
watching as you gather each one;
tucking them into the pockets closest to your heart.
I feel as if you want me to make it snow,
to hand over a chill
bringing you to life in unique ways,
but the truth is
I have no control over winter
it seems to follow each of my steps
whitewashing thoughts.
You may want to put your hood up.
Author notes
Prompt: prelude to winter
In a list
A contest entry
- Prompt 121 by crivanea.
700 points, ended November 10, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think - good or bad
Comments
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This poem is soo good. I liked it so much, esppecially the last few lines. Your thoughts are so beautiful as well as the way you write!
Aishu -
Rubric:
creativity: 5/5
imagery: 5/5
diction: 4/5
impact: 7/10
Total: 21/25
this poem gives quite an impression on me...i have mix feeling about it...i LOVE the first 3 lines of the intro as well as the last 3 lines of the ending...but as for the lines in between..i felt as they didn't have the ..poetic voice that those 6 lines had...anyways..just my opinion...perhaps it was the way you chose to do the line break? or maybe the choice of words itself?
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This is such a crisp and lovely piece, my Friend. Good luck in the contest, Sweetie. 
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