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The Sickness



Sometimes I wish
when I leave-
I could leave
a trail
and  you...
follow
   witness a world
   of charcoal haze

the thick smell of
nightmare
the density of

alcohol breaths
that prick
the tiniest hairs
all over

confusion
snapshots
flashbacks
voices repeat-
conversations
that start at the palms
of hands
itching
and poking its way through
to find an exit

get me out! -it screams

                 get me out!

but I don't know how


Author notes

When they put me on meds...this is the crazy stuff that happened to me.

Im still revising this piece. Constructive criticism is welcome

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • Forgotten truth
    November 7
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    This is very cool to read, is a little hard to understand, but well written, and as you read it reveals its self. Some scary metaphors but I liked them, and it has rawness about it which I love….


  • Matt E. Smith gold member
    November 7
    Edit | Reply
    i know the feeling....well said


  • Terry Collett
    November 7

    Edit | Reply
    Therapy sometimes comes via writing I find, especially poetry. It allows one to open up to ease out, push out, thingsn people, events that depress us or seek to bring us down. One excellent poem.


  • Nicolette gold member
    November 7

    Edit | Reply



    ~ Nicolette


  • Ken-Maverick
    November 7

    Edit | Reply
    Hrmmmm, i hope you're doin okay buddy...
    but it's good that you free some of these emotions through poetry,
    it helps for me anyway.
    Be well and take care young lady, okay?

    Ken


    • Catie Sheeran gold member
      November 7
      Edit | Reply
      thanks ken...I am getting all kinds of help. it good, but kinda sucks that I can't lay in bed and be depressed...they are making me get up and do stuff....lol! but I am seeing a therapist and my step dad has been taking care of me. I definately feel much better since this happened a few weeks ago.

  • fanniesson
    November 7

    Edit | Reply
    Outstanding
    hopelessness comes right through
    to the reader

  • Rowan gold member
    November 7

    Edit | Reply
    I feel like this and I'm not on meds... hmmm.
    Intense hon. This is really good, scary, but good. hugs

    • Catie Sheeran gold member
      November 7
      Edit | Reply
      thanks...hey, I thought I was reading a poem of yours this morning about monday and I was trying to leave a comment on it but it wouldn't let me...and when I closed out of allpoetry and logged back on...I couldn't find it did you delete it or am i just going crazy??? lol I really liked that poem


  • Swangrnv gold member
    November 7

    Edit | Reply

    OK OK Catie..

    this is it.. you've officially floored me for the last, before i finally am force to tell you what you should know..GET TO WORK ON YOUR BOOK!!! now..you an amazing writer who needs people to discover you..TRUST ME, YOU'RE THAT GOOD!!

    • Catie Sheeran gold member
      November 7
      Edit | Reply
      no way! actually I am thinking about making a book on lulu.com but I was making it for my dad for christmas. he isn't much of a reader at all, especially poetry...lol. but if it's from me, I know he will read it and enjoy it and maybe open some doors for him...plus my brothers are very artistic ...I know they would love it too. so hopefully I can get it up for christmas.
      tho, I don't think I am that good--I think my poems are all starting to sound the same. but I continue to write them because its how I feel at the moment.

      thanks for your comments


  • Thomas Scott gold member
    November 7

    Edit | Reply
    conversations that start at the palms of hands
    Am I reading this right?
    Engaging notion.

    • Catie Sheeran gold member
      November 7
      Edit | Reply
      yes, and it's true. I would have cut them open just to get it out! But I don't want to hurt myself...obviously. luckily this only happened for a few days and it finally stopped. I just kept scratching or rubbing them ...i was a mess! I thought I was going super crazy!!! but everything is good now...thanks for the read

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