standing all a-tremble
at the knife-edge of inevitability --
here is where the sidewalk ends,
where rain leaks in;
here the serpent's tongue retracts
whitewashing solidity into ash in its wake.
forlorn and abandoned, yesterday's steps
wait silently behind you for acknowledgement,
yearning for recapitulation,
they cast well-intentioned weaveries across the shoulders:
mind the gap!
don't fall!
best keep back... be careful...
... dangerous, really ...
until one finds oneself thoroughly brambled and bristled,
thorned and thistled, nettled and netted,
pulled back along the familiar trail so recently made,
fitting foot to step for a second incestuous mating.
to escape said clinging trailers
the only place to go
is off ...
epilogue:
wispy ephemera, dancing crystals hanging on the wind:
clouds, as seen from the bridge.
ineffably artificial, a delicate confection of sugar and dreams:
the bridge, as seen from the clouds.
Author notes
Prompt:
[img="http://i714.photobucket.com/albums/ww148/TrUeToxicOnE/clouds.jpg"]
A contest entry
- <3 Anything and Everything <3 by vampireblood.
575 points, ended November 20, 160 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - Prewrites!!!! by Fallen-Thumper.
1200 points, ended November 13, 184 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Something for Everyone! by ToXiC-AnGeL.
1750 points, ended November 15, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites. by Antebellum.
400 points, ended November 14, 207 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Silver dollars and empty lungs (prewrites) by Writing0Freedom.
600 points, ends December 1, 239 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
mind the gap!
don't fall!
best keep back... be careful...
... dangerous, really ...
..
love this part. deffinitly my favorite part.
I really like the words used. thanks for entering. -
Impressive diction put to use pretty effectively throughout the poem. I liked the switching of styles in the poem, it doesn't blend and become stagnant, it evolves as the write and theme does.
-
I really enjoyed this piece, especially line 18 and the epilogue. I have no big time corrections to give other then maybe using proper grammar but that is a small quip to have with such a solid piece. Great work.
-
mind the gap!
don't fall!
best keep back... be careful...
... dangerous, really ...
Thats my favorite! Very well done, I love this piece
x -
Epic.
Eniticingly beautiful. True talent here. The rarity of the infringed raw emotion is excellently penned. Brava. Keep writing.
!
-
thank you for entering
I really liekd this piece and i love the last line, its amazing! Good luck and thanks for entering!
-penguin-
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
