As all the stars in heaven shine down on me tonight
I find that I'm free falling within a ball of light,
to travel with a purpose of bright intensity
whilst gathering the moondust that creates unity.
With lazer beams for fingers I shoot across the sky
moon kiss a new born baby and sing a lullaby
For he is life's creation within a bold new dream
a chance is ressurected and peace will be the theme.
The planets are aligning and in this final hour
I feel the surge of magic, a universal power
Control room door is open and I can see each dial
The story should be over and yet I wait a while.
For each there is an ending, for some beginnings too
so re-create this fable, I'll leave it up to you
please will you all remember just how it all began
and base your last decision on Brotherhood of Man.
A contest entry
- BWOW~~Best Write of the Week~~#26...with aboomer, and Starz of Heaven by islekine.
700 points, ended November 15, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - CELEBRATE 17 NOVEMBER- FOR AWARD-WINNING POEMS OF THE PAST YEAR by Vera Rich.
700 points, ended November 25, 94 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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Hmmm I could not get a feel for this. I am not sure why it was good and I enjoyed it. I can tell you have a part of yourself in this nice work SH
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Good, solid rhythm, trundling along like a railway train. The idea behind the poem is simple, unsophisticated, and so the way you have structured it is spot on - it reinforces that simplicity. There's no fancy footwork about the choice of words either, but still it is vivid.
(One personal problem is that when I see the words Brotherhood of Man I keep thinking about the 1970s pop group. Shoot me now!)
Good luck in the contest.
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I really enjoyed this nice piece for this contest thansk for taking the time to enter best wishes to you always have a great weekend be well.
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Thankyou
I hope your weekend goes well too
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Great wording and flow, as usual from you, made this a pleasure to read. Love the title and the last line especially.
very nicely done
thank you for your entry
best wishes in the contest
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Thankyou.Have a great day
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Wonderful...creative...
wise..
I agree with one of the comments below...it was well said...it speaks to a person on a quantum level! Very well penned...thanks so much for your continued support...best wishes in the contest and always!
Write on and on...
and
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Thankyou.This poem came to me at a time when my writing is taking more thought than usual.Perhaps that is a good thing.I appreciate your comments and will strive to improve and enjoy more of your great contests
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Excellent! Lots of hidden meaning in this poem.
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Pleased you enjoyed, thankyou,Ros
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beautiful write with so much imagry it paints a very vivid picture. though if i may point out your repitition of 'theme' in lines 7 and 8. some may find the use of the same word as your rhyming word a bit uncreative. ok so theres my constructive review. now on a completely differant subject. are you by chance the same 'gwenevere' from Evony.com server 71?
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Thankyou for your critique and no i'm not that Gwenevere
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Flavorful
I think this had a near flawless flow to it, and good imagery. I love the stanza, especially the last two lines. You clearly have a gift. Never stop. :-)
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Thankyou so much for your comments.So encouraging
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Fantastical!
Loved this!! I haven't read anything on AP for a while now and this has totally restored my faith! I so enjoyed this. It spoke to me on a quantum level. Every line, every word in perfect harmony. Keep up the magic! You are a sorcerer of words and wonder. Hats off to you Gwenevere.
& 
Creatress
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Thankyou.It means a lot that you were so in tune with the poem
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I really love the way this flows in rhymn
You did a fantastic job in writing this.Such imagination!
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Many thanks.so pleased you enjoyed the poem, Ros
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http://www.britannia.com/wonder/michell2.html
Since I wasn't allowed to edit my previous comment in a reasonable time, here's an external link for more information on the Keltic (Celtic) religion. Google the phrase: Celtic religion, for additional references. -
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Hello and many thanks for your comments and interesting information
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You are quite welcome.
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a tender and endearing tale! nice rhyme , reads well aloud, fabulous imagery as in "line4 first stanza" i like , i like, well written with such a tender edge!
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