hey you,
i got up tonight because i felt a love song inside me, the unwritten kind. one that plays and plays, you know it's new and words unfamiliar but won't stop.
you were the first person i thought of, the music that lives in you; think it rubbed off just a little. nights make the music more chaotic, a raw and exuberant guitar. played with broken fingers and screaming riffs, but tonight i only heard a soft sound. a softer voice, with language i'd no knowledge of, it sounded the same.
remember? those lyrics you sang me, played that guitar too and closed your eyes as if an ocean of notes washed you.
there are times, when wind howls like a deep bassoon, echoing percussion of lightning, i want to write poetry as if it's a lyric. to lie there and hear the sweetest of melodies. it unfolds like the memory of you. the ink bleeds because i end up with tears mixed in, trying to stem them; words disappear and i wake up and forget i knew them at all.
you deserved the most beautiful song, the deepest poetry i could write. yet somewhere between then and here i failed to find that place in my heart. the one that said everything it needed to. so i lay down and stared at the white; these walls that seem so stark and despaired, i want to scrawl words onto the surface, believe it is my skin and if i cut hard enough, the beauty of the melody will be mine forever.
the lightbulb is buzzing, an unromantic sound of trapped insects and electricity. my candle is a wax pool, spent on tragedy's that are always less violent in soft light. some days i think i might end my time this way.
staring at a compromise and a warped ceiling. still telling myself you will hang around until i make up my mind.
one day i may finish the love song and they will play it for me. all my friends will be there, you may even come, they will all say it is beautiful, leave their flowers and go home. you will stay. stay close to me. regret you never understood the music i gave you.
unlike fame, music will last, unlike you, my love knows silence of death.
you understand the silence of life.
and now it's too late to grieve.
Bronze trophy winner
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