Two Worlds

Did you ever think, that you'r two people?
after a shocking experience?
after an o-so-traumatizing experience
after the kind of experience you know you cannot undo
after the kind of experience that brings tears
not just the kind of tears you shed then laugh at
not just the kind of tears you shed when your heart is broken
No, the kind of tears you shed when you have nothing better to do
No, the kind of tears you shed when your heart is ripped out
the kind of tears you have because you hate yourself
you hate yourself because you dont want to hate
but you hate the man that did this to you
you refuse to forgive him which brings on more hate to yourself

Did you ever think that you're two people?
you feel ripped apart
you have so many feelings you cant even name them

Did you ever feel that you're two people?
because of this traumatic experience
because you didnt know what to do
because you still dont
you didnt know what to do so reactions came so sudden

and soon...
you start to get mad
at those who are only trying to help you
you scream
because you cant do much more
you dream that he is dead
you beg that he is gone
you beg that hell comes to him
you scream because of these hateful feelings

your reactions come as subconscious attacks
they take all these hateful feelings
they take all these painful memories
they take all these fearful realizations
and push them all aside

You dont begin to forget
you begin to ignore

but when the next dreadful year arrives
when the hateful anniversary is near
when the painful anniversary is near
when the fearful anniversary is near
you find yourself looking back
you find yourself crying yourself to sleep
you find yourself staring at the door
expecting that monster to come out and stare at you

to stare at you for those long ten minutes
those ten minutes that feel like ten years
those ten years that feel like ten decades
those ten decades that feel like ten dreadful centuries

you dont know why you feel so paranoid
you dont know why you want to cry
you dont know why you expect the fear to come up again

But no matter what
those two people battling inside
bring out the Two Worlds of the heart