like the smallest sigh from the lips of a newborn child,
she comes to me softly new, holding the future
yet her eyes, like mine, are older than this
and though I love her beyond, like moonlight does autumn,
the light so pale and fragile
and she, all clear-eyed mystery, as injured as I
there is something of fear in the art of letting go
and it holds me in a quiet noise, unrelenting
~
we dance in the company of unguarded consequence-
where one of us steps back, to allow the other forward
there is an unspoken instinct
in the way our steps negotiate each pause
and the perilous path behind, forgets us faster than we do it
while the softer one ahead, remembers us
before we take each first step, and our footsteps
try to follow us
Author notes
Edits: 4
In a list
A contest entry
- We all have them.... by Cannonsfire.
1500 points, ended November 13, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think (Critical Honesty Appreciated)
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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congrats on the gold ... not surprised .... this powerhouse has two canons ... the first of which is my favorite ... it defines the poem's thematic element on adventurous and lovely brave motions and incorporates the elements of nature within us all ... the poem continues with the finality yet infinite continuation of this ... the final line is one of the most original I have read in awhile ...
to my power poetry list this goes
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I love the feel of this.It speaks of love found and treasured and that is too rare of late.
You did a beautiful job of wording and spacing that left the reader wanting more.
there is an unspoken instinct
in the way our steps negotiate each pause
my favorite line. Keep penning and we will keep reading.
Sharon
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this is so perfectly beautiful. i really can't say anything else about it except that it gave me goosebumps. thank you for sharing this.
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It's very mysterious. I can't explain it, but I felt it. I can't describe it.
Amazing poem.
-->pia♫♪
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This is so lovely ... the way partners accomodate each other in the dance!
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oooh, love this!! Excellent!
K
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Ah..just beautiful story you created here to bring the truth of the love and the lovers as well..the imaginativenss and the scenes of the lovers are very sweet as wel..well done..
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Ah..just beautiful story you created here to bring the truth of the love and the lovers as well..the imaginativenss and the scenes of the lovers are very sweet as wel..well done..
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I don't know what I can say to this, except that it held me spellbound, not many do that but when they do and I feel it as deeply as I do this, I know it's an exceptional piece of writing. So thank you for sharing it in this contest C
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There is a subtle caution inherent in discovering the path to new love, a road we wander sometimes lost, most times found. This is beautifully descriptive of these wondrous beginnings, my Friend. Good luck in the contest, Scribe. Such a tender, moving piece it is.
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