This is me
freeing myself from the shame
that i feel
because you cheated on me
I hate myself because you loved her
for a period of time
and i let you come back to me
I threw myself down into my despair
and lost tears and blood over the pain
and now that i have you back
I wish I had walked away
because the truth is
you're dirty now
you are no longer mine
You are the person
who used to belong to her
and you can never lose that title
And i am now with the person
who used to be with her
Which makes me
less of myself
and i'm not happy
but i'm stuck
beacuse we're engaged
and i dont know how to get away
I want to be with you
but not anymore, because
I can still feel her
all over you
A contest entry
- Words falling on deaf ears. by kamikage.
650 points, ended November 15, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
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good
You ending is stong, and I appreciate you providing some background. I am a little confused on how many people are metaphorically involved here...especailly when you combine these statements "You are the person/who used to belong to her/
and you can never lose that title" and "And i am now with the person/who used to be with her/Which makes me/less of myself." Those seem contradictory to me. Also, this piece reads much like a narrative, which isn't bad, but I would have liked to see more usage of poetic devices to synthesize your emotions. Nice work; thanks for entering.
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I can so relate to this....My husband had an affair with a woman and they had a child together and I still took him back, most times I wish I didn't. Now its harder for me to just let him go
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I want to be with you
but not anymore because
I can still feel her
all over you...
beautiful lines!
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wow. im impressed by your emotions through it. well done.
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