Don't Fucking Touch Me

I'll be honest here
It's been 3 months
going on 4
since we've made love
and i completely blame you
Because you were the one who
fucked up
and
fucked her
and now,
i can't stand to touch you
when you get close to me
and move your wet tongue
up and down the crook of my neck
all i can think of
is you
licking it's nasty pussy
and not mine
and i instantly want to get sick
Can I truly love you
If i only want to be with you
if i never have to be touched by you again?
We're going on 4 years now
our engagement has been announced now for months
and when people ask me
when's the wedding?
I forget that we're even that serious
because i feel so basic
trying to sexually operate with you
and i cant
and i dont know if i can
will you still love me if i never
make love again
Go celibate  out of disgust
Does it matter?
Obviously,
love isnt strong enough to inspire forgiveness
Because i still hate what i did
and a part of me
hates you
Love me
but
Dont fucking touch me