After the tempest roared it's obsession
claiming all rights to thy glory
You shower our unworthy souls in love
solar kisses from heaven above
Radiant skies after each stormy evening
graced by rainbow's promise
Across each face brushed warmth, touch
assuring we need thee so much
Thy gale turns to soft winds of time
rain falling heavenly in mist
Watching thee paint skies of many colors
binding us together sister, brothers
Thy amazing power speaks silently
reminding all life is thee
Father Son and Holy Spirit beaming
in everything that's me
Author notes
prompt: Oh God ! Even your rays up in the sky are as amazing as you are...Unknown.
In a list
A contest entry
- amazing... by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
400 points, ended November 20, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Do The heaven witness to you?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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simply divine!!!! There are few words to perfection!!!!
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Trough the strong immagey and the wonderful scenario you brought the sacred message around..i love it..very thoughtful work..well done..
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There is so much power in this beautiful write of yours, yet I feel there is a tenderness to it. Wonderful. Best of luck novy ~sugar~
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beautiful..
the words and the perfect..a perfect blending of beauty! excellent my friend..
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Beautifulness
I like how this highlights the divine qualities of the sun.
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hmmm, this is interesting, although I think the use of thee and thy to be a bit archaic for a modern day piece. I always thought it strange, growing up in church, with people who speak normal everyday English, to suddenly throw in all of those thee and thou's(during prayer). It somehow doesn't ring true. I'm not saying that your words aren't totally sincere. I feel that they are, and there is beauty in them.
ok, onward...the first stanza: you used "roared", so would it be better to use 'claimed" and "showered" ?
next stanza "brushed warmth touch"
those three words don't work well together, perhaps if you used "warm touch"?
I love the way you pulled it all together with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit at the end.
I like the feel of the piece, and how a storm seems to make us feel closer to God, by making us feel such an awesome power from above.
Keep on writing!
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