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Like You

some days,

 

my shattered heart

 

mourns you incessantly;

 

the rational mind knows it has

 

no chance

 

to resurrect your chaste spirit;

 

I'd give breath and limb to

 

inhume my corpse

 

like you

Author notes

this is a variant of a cinquain; technically, this is a butterfly cinquain, following this syllable count: 2-4-6-8-2-8-6-4-2. almost like a mirror cinquain except it's missing a second 2-syllable line that would fall in the middle, and resembling a rictameter sans the 10-syllable line.

I've been listening to the song "Like You" by Evanescence a lot lately; it brings back memories of the moment I discovered my mother had really died (when I finally saw the body). It hurts evey time I think of that fateful day, and sometimes I wish it had been me, instead of her, who died.

She was only 51 and had plenty of living left to do. I, on the other hand...

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

  • n.e.o.n gold member
    November 14

    Edit | Reply
    Oh I am so sorry. I hope that me and you can form a good relationship on here. I feel that you're someone I can have long personal talks with. I adored this piece.

    Death is so over-whelming, yet we cannot predict when it will happen, nor stop it. Again, I am very sorry for what happened.

    I wish you much luck in the contest.

    for my new momma.


  • Cynthia Gaines gold member
    November 12

    Edit | Reply

    My sincere condolences...

    I am so sorry for your loss. Your poem is very touching and heart-felt. I'm not much good at form poetry, but you've managed this one brilliantly. Your mum would be proud, I think. Thank you for sharing. I also lost my mother six years ago this month, it seems like just last week, and I still miss her. I'm wishing you all the best. You take care...
    Peace & Hugs,
    Cyn

  • oneheartstring
    November 11

    Edit | Reply
    the form given to the words forwhom they are meant is appropriate and touching.