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Time On Their Hands

Four men sit in rocking chairs

whiling the hours away

with talk of the good ol' days:

of the corner gas station,

Christmas parties,

barn raisings,

Fourth of July parades,

and snows six feet deep

with smiles animating

faces deeply creased

and knobby, freckled fingers

slapping wooden chair arms

as hearty laughter fills the air.

 

Then the conversation turns

to old ones passing and new ones coming,

and how the years have slipped by

in just a blink of the eye.

How a decade passes with every sunset

and how the end creeps up so quietly -

but their eyes are full of joy, not fear

and they only shed happy tears -

deeply grateful for the gift of time.

Author notes

Prompt: "Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills them."
*Dion Boucicault


For some reason I really wanted to make this positive. So yeah... sad but positive. Life does end, but isn't it the way we fill the years that matters rather than how many years we have?

A contest entry

Please tell me what you really think. Criticism welcomed.

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • HereComesTheSun
    November 8
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    Edit | Reply
    your ability to write any kind of piece and show off so much talent in so many ways is what truly makes you an amazing writer.


  • Man of Harlech silver member
    November 7
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    Edit | Reply
    This captures a setting that is poignant and real. You deserve a gold, and you will eventually get one for this. You generally write poems in the first person, but here you have put yourself in another's shoes. I think the title is more fitting for an essay contest, and a little "starchy." Perhaps something lighter like "Time on their Hands."

    • Auburn Sunrise gold member
      November 7
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      Edit | Reply
      Thank you!!! That is great advice... I wasn't fond of the title either. I will definitely change it. Thanks again!


  • sinfull
    November 7
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    Edit | Reply
    The stories they tell fascinate and teach...the living legacy of history as passed from generation to generation by sunsets in rocking chairs... The stuff in the books is all diluted. Nice moody feel to this


  • SpydurPoet gold member
    November 7
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    Edit | Reply
    That was...just...wow. I loved it. It was like seeing this happening in sepia tones with the whispers of the last word of the final chapter looming ominously around them. Excellent take on the prompt.
    Thanks for entering the contest & best of luck.
    Write on.
    ~*~SP~*~


  • Daizee silver member
    November 7
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    Edit | Reply
    In the hustle bustle of the world today as we know it, there's a serenity to that generation that calms me when I sit and listen to their stories and watch their mannerisms. You've captured that feeling well in your words


  • Catie Sheeran gold member
    November 7
    Edit | Reply
    this is beautifully done. perfect


  • Pure Thought silver member
    November 6

    Edit | Reply
    YES! Who said your work was digressing? Not me!

    ... and decades do seem to pass as sunsets.


  • Manda Kathryn Greeters member
    November 6

    Edit | Reply
    beautiful darling;

    I love how this flows with soft imagery that
    tickle the senses and make me sigh and smile

    sad but also so tender

1 - 10 of 10