Envy of the Naive

It seems as if, my nightmares become reality,
and death becomes normality.
Sometimes, it's hard to decipher morals
and what the "right" thing to do is
Because my fears turn into prayers
and my prayers turn back into nightmares.

"Death is a blessing" he said
solemnly protesting his words he dreads
" & sometimes you have to let death in"
and let it be a haven for those who scream from within

I grow envious of the naive
and wish I could be as deceived
They don't know how life can be dealt
but, I see the scars and the fear I felt

These kids cry when they fall down,
but they don't know what it's like to drown.
Sure, they've felt the water sting their toes
but never the feeling of drowning in it, completely exposed.

I wish I had a child's skin,
but I had to grow tougher from within.
Each time I try to pull this child-like attitude out,
my heart pulled back and filled me with doubt