Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

In Stride

A screaming corpse in stride
Halts for a moment at the roads end,
Intending to relive its rite of passage
As years lapse in seconds.
Collectively, we do not understand truth,
Time is a broken twig under our feet
And second thoughts are fables,
But everything owns a fraction,
Even a screaming corpse in stride
That’s being buried alive.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Lowell Poe
    November 18

    Edit | Reply
    As years lapse in seconds.
    Collectively, we do not understand truth,
    Time is a broken twig under our feet
    And second thoughts are fables,

    now there's a cluster of of unbelivable poetic logic...
    it is the true writer that sees time as fragmented and unreal..
    fasinating poetry...

    ...A screaming corpse ...
    a very frightening thought....
    made me recall the old Vincent Price films of Poe stories...


    Great job!
    Liam



  • MichaelLeeSmyth
    November 15

    Edit | Reply
    Indeed, collective truth is indeed fallacy, the truth is far to subjective to be disturbed by anything like facts. Time truly is a broken twig, for as a race we seem to have as little concept of the nature of time as we do of a tree after stepping upon the twig. Aesop was just the first well known reporter of second thoughts. Eventually, we are all the screaming corpse, perhaps some already are.

    Peace


  • TwiztidMaggot
    November 13

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very good piece. I like the way you wrote it. Short and says so much. Keep up your great work!

    TwiztidMaggot


  • Bean Sidhe silver member
    November 12

    Edit | Reply
    "Time is a broken twig under our feet"

    For whatever reason, the above line stood out to me as the most memorable of the poem. I like the repetition of the first line as it lends strength to it & resounds its strength throughout the poem. The absolute only suggestion I could make (and it's minor at best) is that I would separate the last line from the body of the poem simply for impact purposes.

    Otherwise, brilliantly done!

    Thanks for sharing.

    - Bean Sidhe


  • Tirrell
    November 8

    Edit | Reply

    Perfecto!!!

    Love the abstract nature of this lush imagery, Brandon this is beautiful on so many levels, and philosophically Poe-ish,
    Touching a reminder for me of one of Poe's sketches.
    "Everything owns its fraction, even a screaming corpse in stride"
    is perhaps my favorite lines, a phrase that has me turning it over in my mind just this thought alone speaks, or screams in volume.
    Wonderfully written my friend!!!

1 - 5 of 5