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I'm Not Free

I'm not free

I'm not free

I'm frightened of being me
I'm twisted into parts
I'm torn in two hearts

I'm not  free
I'm not free
I'm feeling pretty,
naughty
I still believe,
what you think of me
Still begging for your mercy
I'm lost in a trance
I'm with the devil,
in a so slow dance and I...

I am not me
I'm not free
I'm not free
I'm temporarily
t
r
a
n
s
c
e
n
d
i
n
g
I'm totally surrendering,
The feeling is stunning
Such an odd sanctuary
I'm going to get free
cuz' I'm not free

I'm not free

I'm not,
me









Author notes

I see the person in this poem sitting, knees to chest in a corner, saying this aloud to themselves.

whats going on in your portals girls and boys?

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • GiveMeMyWings
    November 8

    Edit | Reply

    Lovely

    I really enjoyed this, they way it was displayed and the words.
    Its terrible to question ones self, especially based on others peoples ideas of who or what you are.
    This actually reminds me of some of my work, check out "The Corner" I think You would appreciate it!
    <3
    Meghan


  • ReachingForStars
    November 8

    Edit | Reply
    That is absolutely AMAZING. God, the emotions flow like wine and oil..... I really can't even describe how much I like this!! Bookmarking. Keep writing, you have awe-inspiring talent.
    -K

  • Baldwin
    November 8

    Edit | Reply
    The repetition of 'I'm not free' seems to me like a bird song, repeated again and again, like the one in your background - trapped in a cage. I like this and i LOVE the ending, just how it seems to have hope, and then peter out and the end .. that hesitation from 'i'm not' ... 'me' i can almost feel the resignation in the voice. Also, is there the sense that everything is entrapping? because even in trandescending i view the word "sanctuary" as almost confining, like you're running from something and you must stay here for fear of safety, i dont know .

    I agree with Advocatus though, in that the poem doesn't seem to have a direction - i would like to know what you are trandescending from .. but then again the kind of intangibility of the poem adds to that desperation and confusion ... blergh. A wonderful poem either way, and ti seems in your authors notes you are going towards sane vs insane, but i stand by my entrapment theme thanks to your background xD


    Thank you for writing this, it really was a pleasure to read

    Alex


  • Melee Vau gold member
    November 8

    Edit | Reply
    your poem is amazing, I could feel the subject repeating the words over and over in a manic chant, wishing to get back a bit of sanity.


  • fantome errant
    November 7

    Edit | Reply
    I understand that this is supposed to be a repetitive poem and i like that. There is one section that threw me off in the middle though:

    I'm feeling pretty naughty
    I still believe,
    what you think of me
    Still begging for your mercy

    That part seemed off from the rest of the poem to me, and it just threw me off in the reading. It lacks the same witty rhyme that appears in the other lines.

    The rest of the poem I enjoyed very much so.

    Great work, and keep writing!
    - Cass

    three applause for you. : )


  • Lucian Valcor
    November 6

    Edit | Reply
    very interesting poem it seemed a little over repetitive and it seemed to not lead any were in the story line even though I still seemed to like it which completely surprises me some thing not easy to do nice work good job

    Lucian"

1 - 6 of 6