The girl ran through the trees,
Maybe he was playing a trick on her she thought as she heard the screams of her lover fill the winter night,
The screams stopped..
A pounding in her chest as she feels fear choking her,
Taking her breath..
She turn and tried to run but was frozen in midst of what she seen,
The upper torso of her lover with his rap cds buried in his chest and the skin of his face removed...
And the witch of peachtree rock disembowing her
Author notes
An actual urban legand from my area.
A contest entry
- Double, double, toil and trouble, fire burn and cauldron bubble.. by Catacomb.
1100 points, ended November 19, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Good Lord! this is creepy!
i definitely wanna come to your area and see this tree!
Great work! for giving me goosebumps
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Actualy its a big rock that looks like a peachtree
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lol then i wanna see that rock!
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sounds like part of a vision i had.
the one where i saw the woman running in the woods on a winter night from something
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Yay for the death of rap cds! Success has been brought upon the world! A very interesting and magnificently ended poem.
There were a few phrases, if you don't mind me saying so, that I found a tiny bit awkward making it seem more like a story than a poem.
I hope you don't mind if I point out a few...
Maybe he was playing a trick
She could hear the screaming
A pounding in her chest, fear choking her
She turned, trying to run but remained frozen
The torso of her love with rap cds buried in his chest
And the skin removed from his face.
As you can tell I got bored of copying lines so I just wrote them. I hope you don't mind these suggestions.... I feel bit annoying giving so many
I hope you keep in mind that this is my personal opinion and most people will probably disagree with me.
The poem was great though =D The idea you approached is something I've never heard of before and so made it quiet interesting. The imagery was great along with the ending. Best of luck in the contest
Don't forget we have to write a collab when your laptop is fixed
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Chilling.
Absolutely chilling.
Wonderful, amazing write!
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