“From Europe, With Love” or “More than Fine”
Just another rainy day,
they told us it would be this way,
but I smile like the day is shining sun.
I smile cuz I’m far away
and you can’t break my heart today,
and you’re not here to ruin all my fun.
Before I left I told myself
I’d put our memories on a shelf
and save your bullshit for some other time.
You’ve got a new girl for yourself,
did I expect anything else,
at least she is the only one this time.
I hope these words may reach your ears,
because I’d love for you to hear,
that baby I am doing more than fine
Cuz I was one of four,
now I’m so much more,
I’m on my own, you’re still at home,
you’ve got the girl, you’ve got the sex,
and darling I may be your ex,
but you don’t realize what you’re missing now,
and Irish boys are hotter anyhow.
I wonder how it came to this
I thought you savored every kiss
But you were seeing others from behind
I laugh now when I reminisce
I find this freedom perfect bliss
And hope you understand you’ll never find
Another girl who will adore
And love you each day more and more
Despite 6 hours falling in between
The love and trust I gave to you
That I thought I got from you too
While your lies blinded me to things unseen
I hope these words find you alone
Because I want it to be known
Without you I am doing more than fine
Cuz I was one of four,
now I’m so much more,
I’m on my own, you’re still at home,
you’ve got the girl, you’ve got the sex,
and darling I may be your ex,
but you don’t realize what you’re missing now,
And Irish boys are hotter anyhow
I guess my say is done and said
I’m happy in this hostel bed
I know that I am gonna be all right
I hope you haven’t been mislead
That you still occupy my head
And I still cry myself to sleep at night
I am far from that pathetic
This world is big and energetic
And I’m an off to find more than an urge
And when I’m find what I’m looking for
Who knows what that is anymore
The memories that haunt you will emerge
So I hope she’s enough for you
To hold the day these words get through
Cuz God knows I am doing more than fine
Cuz I was one of four,
now I’m so much more,
I’m on my own, you’re still at home,
you’ve got the girl, you’ve got the sex,
and darling I may be your ex,
but you don’t realize what you’re missing now,
and Irish boys are hotter anyhow.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Oh jeez... RHYMING. It's just crazy how carried away you got with it. Sure, the majority of your rhymes made sense but it just gets mechanical after awhile. However, nice job on the consistency within the verses. This reads a lot more like lyrics than a poem
Some corrections/suggestions...
Chorus - and Irish boys are hotter anyhow (uncreative rhyme, doesn't flow either).
Line 35 - Your lies blinded me to things unseen (kind of redundant).
Line 52/53 - Arbitrary rhyme.
Line 54 - And I'm off to find more than an urge (corrected).
Line 55 - When I find what I'm looking for (corrected).
Overall, this isn't bad and I think you tackled a very cliche topic fairly well. This easily sounds like something I could hear on the radio though which might cause you to get negative reviews from some people. On the other hand, I think you carefully chose your rhymes and I also think you really put a lot of time into organizing the format of this song. Nice job, it's an accomplishment to write lyrics and then have an anonymous reader being able to tell their lyrics.
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It's good that you're over this guy, as far as the poem goes, it's pretty dictated by the rhyme and its a bit juvenile. It's a good coping mechanism, poetry is, to get over tough moments in your life, if this was particularly tough for you, then it's good that you got to vent out.
