Sailing in the ocean,
with no destination
or a treasure to find.
years are running out,
my blood is dripping,
my tears are flooding
and no one cares to listen.
There is fire in my heart
and I cant bare the blood in my veins,
every time it passes through my brain,
it brings memories back to life,
it lets me see the people who I lost,
one more time in a flash light.
Its almost sunset and I am late,
I must go to hide in my casket
before all my worries are awake,
every night they tear me apart till I scream,
they want to drag me to hell,
where I wont close my eyes and die in peace.
Since the accident, I am awake.
she was all I got and she was stolen away.
she stared in my eyes and touched my heart,
she said "hold me tight and keep my memory."
then my heart died.
she took me with her to the graveyard
and left a shadow with a dead black eyes.
Now I am just waiting to die
because without you i cant fly.
i am an eagle with a broken wings,
begging mercy to end his life.
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A contest entry
- Words falling on deaf ears. by kamikage.
650 points, ended November 15, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your very best!!!! Tons of points! by God is my reality.
1750 points, ended December 1, 226 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Have u felt it ?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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oh this is so sad and filled with emotion. I really like this a lot and it's got some great word choices, I can definately feel your emotion and pain and that feeling of hopelessness
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awake in the third stanza means that in the night every one's keeps thinkin alote more than he does on the day and awake in the last stanza dont contradicted with the 3rd stanza as i said that i hide in my casket i didnt said that i sleep any way thx for the tips
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excellent
Love the imagery and metaphors here; this reads much like music in that everything flows very nicely. A little punctuation errors: "years" should be capitalized, "Its" and "wont" should have an apostrophe. Lastly, I am confused about your message of "awake". It seems to contradict in the 3rd and 4th stanza. Very good overall, nice job. -
<3
Losing someone dear to you is more pain then I could handle, and you conveyed those heartthrobs well.
Hope this poem makes the people who read it realize that loved ones are not to be taken for granted.
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awww...love this is so sad. i have felt this but that is beside the point. you did beautifully capturing the feelings and just ah! you just did beautifully..thats all i know what to say
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Sadly yes
This poem shows everything about what (i consider) is true suffering. It's all truth and nothing else, the imagery is also great.
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:O
aww man i love this poem...
i think its great, full stop.
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